


If you lose your strength to stand (I'm gonna reach for your hand)

by rainforestgeek



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Autistic Keith (Voltron), Awkward Lance (Voltron), Badass Pidge, Canon Compliant through Season 5, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Friendship, Heartbreak, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Multi, Not Season 8 compliant, Post-Season 5, Post-Season/Series 05, Slow Burn, not season 6 compliant, not season 7 compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-28 03:19:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14440329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainforestgeek/pseuds/rainforestgeek
Summary: “Lance doesn’t feel like talking?” Pidge went wide-eyed. “Shit, Hunk, the whole fucking universe is ending.”Hunk, the traitor, dramatically played along with Pidge. “Prepare for the four horsemen to descend from the heavens!”“Really? A year ago we found out Keith is half human, half purple cat-alien, but THIS is what signals the apocalypse?”--The Paladins of Voltron grew up a little too quickly when their lions chose them. Even though they've become skilled intergalactic warriors, their tumultuous teenage feelings can get in the way of their mission. This is the story of how Lance grows into his purpose, Pidge finds her center and gains perspective, and Keith learns how to let himself be loved.Work title from I'll Fight by Daughtry





	1. Rejection

"Your stance has improved."

The musical sound of Allura's voice distracted Lance for just a tick. But that was long enough for the gladiator to graze his side before he could fully dodge the strike.

“Ooh. Your focus could use some work, though.”

“Gee, thanks for the advice,” Lance gasped. He grit his teeth against the sting. He parried a couple more strikes from the gladiator, then stepped under its guard when he found an opening and thrust his sword through the robot’s torso. It sparked and crumpled to the floor as he withdrew his sword. He’d feel better about this if the quiznacking thing wasn’t set at level 1.

Allura approached him. “That looks like it smarts.”

It did. “Just a bit.” It stung even worse at his movements when he sat down.

“Here let me patch it up. I did distra – ”

“I can handle a cut, Allura.”

She froze at Lance’s sharp tone. She stared at him while he applied healing salve to the slashed skin under his torn bodysuit. He looked up at the hurt look on her face and guilt stabbed through his annoyance.

“Did you want something, Princess?”

“ I – ” She stuttered. “It’s okay. It can wait. Is there something bothering you? You don’t seem – quite yourself.”

“What, not the usual cheery, jokey, Loverboy Lancey-Lance?”

Allura rolled her eyes. Lance was pretty sure she picked that up from Pidge. “That’s what I mean. The bitter sarcasm. You sound like Keith on his worse days.”

The comparison did not help his mood. He finished cleaning the blood off his skin and taping up his side. Turns out it cut deeper than it looked.

Allura knelt in front of him. “Lance, I’m here if you need to talk.” She put a hand on his knee.

“You really scared me, Allura!” That touch, which was probably meant to be comforting, was the last straw that broke the dam. Or, something like that. He stood up and started pacing. “You flew into a white hole that nearly destroyed Voltron – _the most powerful, resistant thing the universe_ – with nothing but your armor and a galra! Do you have any idea how worried sick I was? Without a clue if you were dead or ever coming back?”

At his outburst, Allura stared at him, mouth agape and apparently at a loss for words. She stood and reached for him but he moved away. With all the anger and upset-ness pumping through his blood, Lance thought he might start crying if she touched him. He took a shuddering breath to steady himself and sheathed his bayard. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.” He took off his helmet and looked Allura in her jewel blue eyes. “But when you and Lotor took off…we were dead in the water. We didn’t know for sure that Oriande was real and the only thing I could do was wait. I couldn’t go after you, couldn’t help fix the ship, just wait and try not to go crazy not knowing that you were alive. If you died I… if you had died we’d be waiting forever.”

Without warning, Allura wrapped her arms around him in a surprisingly gentle hug. Strong as she is, he would've half-expected her to accidentally crush his ribs. “I’m sorry, Lance. I was so focused on my mission, and so enamored with learning Altea’s secrets. I hadn’t considered how that risk would affect my friends. I never meant to scare you so, I swear.”

Regaining his wits, Lance dropped his helmet and returned her hug. He huffed a humorless laugh. “Yeah, well. Watching the girl you’re in love with fly into a magical nuclear explosion in the space Bermuda Triangle with a handsome prince would terrify any guy.”

Allura pulled back to look at him. He was hyper-aware of her hands on his shoulders even through the armor. “Wait, what?”

“Well, I guess Lotor’s not a prince anymore now that he’s galactic emperor or whatever, but my point stands.”

“No, no, the bit about love? Did I hear that right?” The princess’s brows were drawn together.

He blanched. “Yeah? That I’m in love with you?” He finally registered the shock on her face. “Allura, how could you possibly not know that?” He stumbled away from her in disbelief.

She threw her hands in the air. “I’m hardly the only girl you’ve been flirting with, Lance! How was I to know your advances towards me were serious?”

“You’re not just any other girl,” Lance insisted. He couldn’t believe his hideous human ears. “You’re Princess Allura! Pink paladin, rebellion leader - the magical Altean who brought a whole freaking balmera back to life and started a galaxy-wide revolution! You’re brave and beautiful and smart and you're my friend. I’ve been in love with you since day one.”

Everything was off his chest. All the feelings he had thought were displayed in neon lights from the heart on his sleeve saw the light of day for real. And Lance had never seen Allura look so overwhelmed.

His heart broke.

“But you’re never gonna feel that way about me.” Lance scooped up his helmet and made to leave the training deck. “I’m sorry I put all that on you.”

He was only a few paces from the doors when she said, “Lance, please wait.”

And because he could never refuse her, he did. He waited and listened to her footsteps get closer and closer but that didn’t mean he had to turn around.

When Allura next spoke, her voice held the same regal confidence as it had when she assigned them to the lions all those months ago. “I understand if you don’t want to face me while I say this. I did not know the true extent of your feelings for me. And I regret how this hurts you. I don’t…have _romantic_ interest in you, Lance, but I care for you very deeply. You’re my family. Please, for your own sake, try to move on.” His eyes stung. “I cannot give you what you seek. I don’t want that to cause you any more pain.”

Yeah, he was definitely crying now. Lance never liked crying alone – _Dios_ , he missed Veronica – but he still couldn’t look at her. The words were so, so hard to hear.

“I’m sorry, too. I’m gonna just…need some, some space and time, okay?” He wiped his eyes with his gloved fingers.

“Of course." She paused. "Ancients know there’s plenty of _space_ to go around out here.” The pun surprised a genuine laugh out of him. Lance didn’t need to see her face to know the princess was wearing _that_ soft smirk. “Thanks, Allura.”

He needed a shower and some quality time with Pidge’s video game. Good thing it lived in his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really just the exposition to start off Lance's character arc, but I wanted to post this before I chickened out. The semester is almost over so I should update regularly over the summer - I'm REALLY excited about this fic! I've got big plans.  
> Please leave a review, because they're food for the writer's soul, and please keep it civil about the ships.  
> Virtual brownie points to anyone to spots the Two Towers reference.


	2. The Garisson Trio

As it turned out, the little green gremlin herself had already broken into his room. He heard her boisterous yelling through the doors before they even swished open. Pidge was coiled in a half-crouched position, fingers flying over the controller in her hands and a gleeful look on her face. The lights were off, so Lance could only see her by the harsh blue glow from the monitor she’d rigged up. The light shined off her glasses and hid her eyes.

Pidge didn’t even flinch when Lance flicked the lights on, but he yelped in surprise at Hunk sitting on his bed. He had the other controller and looked thoroughly put out.

Pidge glanced at him. “Hey Lance! You’re just in time to see me kick Hunk’s _ass_!”

“You could at least let me know before breaking into my room,” he grumbled.

“Change your passcode, then.”

“Why bother? Either one of you could override it anyway.” Lance worked at the clips of his armor to take it off and put it away. Pidge joyously trash talked at Hunk with language she’d probably never use around Matt. Once down to his bodysuit, Lance opened the bathroom door and started unzipping.

He heard a startled choking sound behind him, followed by a victorious whoop from Hunk. “Ha, got you now! Suddenly off your game, Pidge?”

“Lance, what the fuck! Close the door before you start stripping!” He turned to see Pidge pointedly glaring at the screen _away_ from his bare chest, her cheeks bright red. Her fingers fumbled over the controls. He put his hands on his hips.

“Hey, this is my room. You can leave if you’re embarrassed. And we shared a locker room for months at the Garrison, Pidge, what are you getting all flustered about now?”

“Shut up,” she grumbled. Lance rolled his eyes and left his friends to their game.

A hot shower was _just_ what the doctor ordered. The heat loosened his muscles and the steam was wonderful in his lungs. He felt properly cleansed by the time he walked back into his room, wearing pajama pants and toweling his hair dry. Hunk and Pidge were still there, but seemed to have abandoned the game in favor of taking it apart and arguing. Hunk said something about Pidge being a sore loser. She lobbed Lance’s matching pajama top at his face.

“I was gonna play that tonight, you know,” he complained, pulling the shirt over his head.

“We’re just making a couple improvements,” Hunk reassured him. Lance sighed dramatically and collapsed onto his bed, throwing an arm over his eyes.

Pidge shot back at Hunk, “The game wouldn’t be lagging in the first place if you hadn’t messed with the CPU. Do you have any idea how hard it was to build that component from scratch? On an _alien spaceship?_ ”

“Hey, the lag is not a hardware problem. The operating system’s been going on the fritz, you need to double check the code.”

“My code is flawless! There’d be nothing wrong with the console if you’d just stop touching – ”

“How about you both just stop talking?!” Lance snapped.

Amazingly, they both shut up. A large blunt elbow gently poked at his side from where Hunk sat on the floor by his bed. “You okay, dude?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Lance doesn’t feel like talking?” Pidge eyes went comically wide. Coupled with her big round glasses she looked like startled green owl. “Shit, Hunk, the whole fucking universe is ending.”

“Did Matt ever wash your mouth with soap when you were growing up or is this a new development?”

Hunk, the traitor, played along with Pidge. “Prepare for the four horsemen to descend from the heavens.” He squeezed his eyes shut, clutched his heart, and fell over sideways, narrowly avoiding crushing their homemade game console. That earned him an irritated smack across the forehead from Pidge.

“Really? A year ago we found out Keith is half human half purple cat-alien, but _this_ signals the apocalypse?”

“You’re not exactly the secretive type, Lance.” Pidge resumed disassembling the console.

“ _What’s that supposed to mean?_ ”

Hunk climbed onto the bed and wrapped an arm around Lance’s shoulders. “Hey, chill out, it’s okay man. You just seem really upset and it’s not good to bottle it up like that. You know you can trust us, right?”

Pidge nudged his knee with the back of her hand. “Talk to us, Lance. For the sake of all creation,” she joked, quirking an eyebrow. Lance snorted a laugh. That seemed to please her, because her playful smirk softened into a real smile. That and Hunk’s warm hug, more than anything, were what made him relent. “Allura just rejected me. Like, about twenty doboshes ago.

“So? Doesn’t she do that all the time?” Lance’s heart dropped into his stomach. He glared at Pidge. She was frowning down at her project.

“Pidge, not helpful,” Hunk snapped, to both his friends’ surprise. Their little green paladin turned bright red.

“Well, it was for real this time,” Lance retorted. “I said something about being in love with her, which apparently she didn’t know because ‘I’m not the only girl you’ve flirted with out here.’ I mean, she’s rebuffed me before, but this time was so…final.”

“Because she knew you were serious this time,” Hunk filled in gently.

“So she responded seriously, yeah. I could… I _know_ she doesn’t like me like that, okay? I do. It still sucked to listen to her say it’ll never happen, she loves me like a brother, doesn’t want to hurt me, the whole nine. So _excuse me_ if it takes more than half an hour to get over it, Pidge.”

Pidge opened her mouth, closed it, and awkwardly placed a small, warm hand on his knee. Her eyes stayed downcast as she murmured, “I’m sorry, Lance.”

He sighed deeply. “It’s okay.”

Her thumb rubbed back and forth in what was probably meant to be a soothing gesture. “It’s…I – I don’t, I don’t know how to…comfort people.”

 _Well, if that wasn’t just adorkably sweet,_ Lance thought. He picked up her hand and squeezed it. “I’m sorry for yelling earlier. Hunk’s right. Burying your feelings is how you end up like Keith – quiet until he turns red and explodes. Like a volcano!”

Pidge cracked up. Hunk did, too, but to his credit did try really hard to cover his laughter. “Hey, be…be nice…to Keith. Poor guy…’s got a lot of…issues!” he huffed.

Hearing his friends laugh – at someone other than his expense – made Lance feel even better. “That’s exactly my point!”

They laughed until Pidge started to yawn. Hunk’s mom friend instincts kicked in and declared it was her bedtime. She mumbled something about him not being her dad, but she packed up what was once a video game console into her backpack and let Hunk carry her to her room. She looked like a tawny kitten all curled up in his big arms. Lance bid them goodnight and proceeded to his own nighttime routine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be longer, and it's kind of a filler scene, but finals are coming up and I've got three presentations to do, so...this is all I got. And I wanted to post SOMETHING before summer vacation starts.


	3. Know Whom to Trust

Lance didn’t think he’d ever get over the sight of watching a planet get bigger and bigger as the castle approached. Okarion was small, compared to Earth. Deep green vegetation peaked in and out of view as swirling golden clouds shifted in the atmosphere. He was leaning against Pidge’s chair on the bridge. He nudged her shoulder. “Pidge, you gotta watch this.”

She glanced up from her screen. “What? Olkarion?”

“Yeah. Watch while it gets bigger, it’s so cool.”

“It’s not getting bigger. We’re just getting closer.”

“Exactly how dumb do you think I am?”

“Why should I stare at a planet I’ve already seen half a dozen times? We’re going to land soon anyway.”

Lance huffed. “Because it’s _beautiful_. Look at all those colors!”

Pidge adjusted her glasses. “It’s so weird the clouds have that brown tinge. The first time we visited I assumed it was from pollution, but apparently the clouds are super rich in minerals that evaporate along with the water – ”

“Pidge.”

“Lance.”

“It’s really cool how much you understand about this stuff, but just. Look at it for a minute. Don’t worry about how it works, or what it means, or how ordinary it is, or how many times you’ve seen it. Just stop, focus on the beauty. Trust me, it’s worth it.”

Pidge quirked an eyebrow at him and fixed her eyes on the approaching planet. They were close enough now that they could see the clouds sparkle gold under their sun’s light as they moved. Flashes of orange and pink flickered through the atmosphere. A break in the clouds widened, drifting apart, revealing the blanket of jade-green jungle on the planet’s surface.

Several minutes had passed by when Pidge said, softly, “I think I see what you mean.”

Lance broke from his trance to grin down at her. To his surprise she was already looking at him. They locked eyes for a split second before Pidge quickly turned back to her work. “We’re going to land in half a varga.”

“Lance, suit up and get to your station,” Shiro ordered. Lance bit his tongue before he could point out Shiro wasn’t in his armor either and left to get ready.

 

Upon his return, he found Lotor and Hunk had joined Allura on the bridge. The galra emperor was standing very close to the princess, his body angled towards her and their arms almost brushing.

Lance and Allura had barely exchanged ten words save for team meetings in for the past few movements. Sometimes he saw her glance in his direction, and her eyes would get all sad, then she'd look away, like the distance hurt her almost as much as it hurt him. That more than anything, missing his friend and knowing she missed him too, made Lance determined to fufill the tall order that was letting go of his feelings for her. After the first week of silence and distractions and mental slaps upside the head, seeing her started to get a little less painful each day. So moving on may seem to be working, but sue him for getting a bit vexed whenever he saw Allura with Lotor. Facts: Allura was attracted to the prince and not to Lance. It'd make any guy feel inadequate.

Lance tried not to feel too annoyed and sat in his chair. He started scanning the system for enemy Galra ships.

“Hey Hunk, can you help me for a sec?”

The yellow paladin excused himself from his conversation with His and Her Royal Highnesses and came to stand next to Lance’s chair. He was holding a small glowing drive of some sort.

“Whatcha got there, Hunk?”

“Oh, uh, an old Altean science log. Lotor’s mom’s. Allura asked me to go through the data.”

Lance eyed it suspiciously. “Wasn’t Lotor’s mother the one who messed around with the rift that got Daibazol destroyed?”

“They want to know if any of her old research can help find a way to harness quintessence safely. Alchemy’s a starting point, but Allura wants an engineer’s perspective on the energy. Anyway, you said you needed help? What’s up?”

Lance adjusted the search parameters. “I’m doing a sweep for Galran ships. Pidge said you picked up specialized energy signatures from some of the newer battle cruisers, but I, ah, don’t know how to put them in with this algorithm.”

“No prob, I’ll walk you through it. But, uh - ” He pointed at few flashing dots moving on the console’s map. “ - aren’t those Galra ships?”

“Yeah, I’m keeping an eye on them. They’re orbiting the planet, so I’m pretty sure they’re just Lotor’s security.”

Hunk typed on the console and explained how to insert new parameters into the tracking system. It was…a complex process.

“I’m worried about this demonstration,” Lance said in a low voice. “A diplomatic festival with the emperor, the princess, and most of the rebel leaders in one place? If I were a rogue Galran general, this is when I’d strike.”

Hunk smirked. “For a lot of reasons, we’re all really glad you’re not a rogue Galran general.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “I bet my bayard there’s going to be an attack on the big day.”

“So what do you want to do?”

Lance looked around for Shiro, but he’d left the control room. Probably to change into his armor at the last minute. “Call in some reinforcements. We can probably get some of the rebels to patrol the upper atmosphere with us. And ask Kolivan if he can send some Blades to watch out for enemies on the ground. Like an alien space-ninja Secret Service.”

Hunk chuckled. Then paused. “Wait, us? As in, us, with our lions? We need to be planet-side for the celebrations, man.”

Lance shrugged - even though the idea of missing out on the party made him feel grumpy. “They need Emperor Lotad, the princess, and the black paladin on the ground. You, me, and Pidge would be more useful as lookouts around the atmosphere’s perimeter.”

“Okay, one: I can’t believe you’re opting _out_ of being the center of attention  at a huge party. And two: Shiro’s okay with most of the paladins absent from this? It’s huge PR for the Coalition.”

Lance checked the door again to make sure Shiro hadn’t come back. “Don’t know. I didn’t ask. Dude,” he interrupted before Hunk could reply, “this diplomatic thing is an easy target with a red bullseye painted on it. The event’s going to be broadcasted across most of the galaxy and the empire’s in a broken-up uproar. Most of those generals already know Olkarion’s the Coalition’s refugee capital. The whole situation’s got my spidey senses tingling like crazy but in case you haven’t noticed, Shiro hasn’t trusted my opinion lately. Do you?”

Hunk gave him a calculating look, tapping his fingers on the console where his arm rested. Eventually he replied, “I trust you. But you’ve never struck me as a Spider-Man.”

That insult _could not stand._ “I’d be an awesome Spider-Man!”

Hunk pushed him out of his chair and towards the door. “Go call Kolivan. I’ll finish up this algorithm for you.”

“Thanks, bud.” Lance gave his best friend’s shoulder a friendly punch.

* * *

Keith had sequestered himself in his bunk on the Marmora headquarters when the call came in. Krolia was giving him space, giving him time, respecting his wishes. But she was still a presence around the base and sometimes he needed to hide from the risk of randomly seeing his estranged mother across the room.

Pidge had set up a pad for him with a secure direct line to the Castle of Lions. The Blade leadership knew about it, of course. They had strict security protocols. Keith hadn’t received a call from Voltron in –  almost a month, quiznak.

He accepted the call and unexpected relief flowed through him at the face that greeted him. “Lance.”

“Hey Keith. I’d love to catch up, but this is urgent. Is Kolivan around?”

So, not a social call. He wished he wasn’t so disappointed. “You could’ve called him directly.”

“Okay, cold. I need to be discreet and I thought you’d want to at least know about this.” That…was fair. “And we haven’t talked in a long time! I need visual confirmation you’re alive once in a while.”

Keith smiled. As obnoxious as he was, the familiarity of Lance’s ridiculousness comforted him. “What’s going on?”

Lance put on his serious face. He explained his concerns about the diplomatic festival on Olkarion and how bizarre Shiro’s been acting. Keith didn’t know what to say on the latter point, but agreed that without adequate protection the event would be a juicy target to the rogue galra factions. “We recently got intel that Sendak escaped the Kral Zera alive, so look out for him,” Keith added.

Lance rolled his eyes and pouted. “I wish that guy would stay dead for once. We’ve been battling him since _Arus_.”

“I’ll tell Kolivan that Voltron requests a team for covert backup. With peace so close I don’t see him refusing.”

“Thank you, Keith.” Lance paused. “We miss you, you know. We probably won’t cross paths at the thing, but give Hunk and Pidge a call, yeah?”

Keith replied quietly, “I miss you guys, too. Please tell them that.”

Lance eyed him suspiciously. “Are you okay? You seem gloomier than usual. Your emo vibe has like, tripled.”

Keith scowled. “I’m not emo. I’m just…” He heaved a sigh. “I’m dealing with something that happened on my last mission.”

The current red paladin waited for him to continue. When Keith didn’t, he said, “Okay. You’re not ready to talk about it. I get that. But when you are, call us, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Good night, Keith.” He ended the call.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually got some plot written! I'm a sucker for angst and fluff as much as the next fangirl, but this is a full story, not a oneshot. I don't know how many chapters I'm going to write, but I do know where I want this to go.  
> Also, Keith's back! Briefly, but he's back, and he has a big role in the next chapter. He's such a sad sweetheart, I love him.
> 
> >This chapter had been EDITED with an extra paragraph clarifying the timeline and where Lance and Allura stand in their relationship.


	4. Don't Let the Fractures Grow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took such a long time, but it's a much longer chapter! I probably could've split it up into smaller ones, but I had to cut it short as it is.  
> If you spot any typos please let me know. I can't let those just sit there.

Matt Holt was waiting for them when Keith carefully docked the Marmora shuttle in one of the smaller hangars of Captain Olia’s frigate. Keith and a handful of other agents hopped out of the shuttle onto the rough metal floor and Matt approached them, arms crossed and grinning.

“Hey Keith! Nice to see you’re still alive – haven’t gone kamikaze on any impenetrable battlecruisers lately?”

Keith scowled. “I don’t have time for a lecture, Matt.”

He grinned in a way that reminded Keith eerily of both Pidge _and_ Lance. “Sure you do. We won’t be at Olkarion for the better part of a quintant.” Matt turned his attention to the other Blade members with Keith and held out his hand to the one standing in front. “Hello. I’m Matthew Holt.”

Selick, the team leader, shook his hand and introduced himself.

Matt slipped his arm through Keith’s and led the group out of the hangar.

“Captain Olia and First Officer Lou are waiting for us in the tactical room. She wants to talk strategy first, then let you guys get some rest before the ceremony.”

“Yeah. Some sleep would be good,” Keith agreed. “It _is_ good to see you, Matt.”

“You, too.”

They travelled up several decks until they reached a large set of double doors. Matt let go of Keith’s arm to tap in the keycode. Keith normally wasn’t a fan of being touched, but the withdrawal left him feeling oddly cold. The chamber inside was as basic and clean-cut as the rest of the frigate, built for function rather than glamor, with a tall vaulted ceiling to accommodate the dioramic star charts projected around the room. Captain Olia and who he assumed was first officer Lou were deep in discussion. The first officer looked like an odd cross of a centaur and a dragon, but about the same height as most galra. Clawed feet poked out underneath what looked like an armoured skirt and her back curved sharply from horizontal to vertical. She was covered in gray scales and her ears and snout vaguely pointed.

Captain Olia looked up when she heard the doors slide closed. First Officer Lou bowed formally as they approached. “Welcome aboard, Marmora agents.”

“It is an honor,” Selick replied. He inclined his head to the officers. “Captain Olia. I am Selick. Let me introduce Aldon, Kivva, and Nox. I believe you’ve already met Keith.”

“Yes. Forgive me but I’ll have to keep this meeting short. I have a lot of prep left to do for my troops before tomorrow.” Direct and to the point. Keith liked her. “I received a request from the Yellow Paladin of Voltron for protecting the planet Olkarion from potential attacks by rogue galra factions during the event tomorrow, and to pick up a team of Blades - you five - several clicks from the planet. The people in this room are the only ones who can know about your presence with the exception of the Yellow, Green, and Red Paladins, who will be guarding the upper atmosphere alongside my teams.”

“What about Shiro?” Keith interrupted. “He’s the pilot of the Black Lion. Why doesn’t he know we’re coming?”

Olia pursed her lips and raised a fluffy eyebrow at him. “The internal operations of Voltron is not my concern.”

He looked to Matt, wanting to press for more information. Matt held up a hand and mouthed ‘ _later.’_ Keith forced his mouth shut.

“At any rate,” the captain continued, “My frigate and the Castle of Lions are powerful but not discrete. Voltron wants the Blade of Marmora as a final line of defense on the ground in case rogue fighters or spies slip through our defenses.We want to be as certain as possible that no enemies know you’re there.”

Selick spoke up, “We will need to familiarize ourselves with the area to perform proper surveillance.”

Lou handed him a thin metal drive. “These are Rhyner’s plans of the capital city square. They are remarkably detailed and should prove useful preparation.”

Selick took the drive. “Thank you.”

Captain Olia excused herself and while First Officer Lou led the Blades to their quarters, Keith asked Matt, “Is there a training deck around here?”

“Training deck? Don’t you want to get some sleep?”

“I’m been sitting at the helm of a tiny shuttle for several hours. I won’t sleep if I don’t work out.”

“Fair enough. It’s this way, I can be your sparring buddy.

 --

Matt proved himself to be a formidable opponent. The other Blades were no walk in the park to spar with, but they all had the same training and therefore similar fighting styles that Keith had long since gotten used to. Fighting someone outside the Marmora was a significant change of pace and Keith was grateful for the challenge. Plus, he hadn’t fought someone sword-on-staff since before Allura had become the Blue Paladin. He challenged her once and got beaten to a pulp.

Keith had to completely change up his defense. Matt kept siding through parries that would have effectively blocked another sword. Despite the armor he could feel bruises forming on his ribs. After a couple hours he found himself pinned to the floor, Matt’s booted foot pressing down on his chest. The blunt end of his metal staff hovered three inches from Keith’s throat.

Matt smirked down at him, breathing heavily. “Ready to surrender?”

Keith dropped his sword to the floor. HIs hands started to raise up, but Matt’s smug look dissolved into surprise when Keith grabbed the staff’s end with one hand. Before either of them could blink he snaked his other arm around the foot planted next to his ribcage, and _twisted_ his body with enough momentum that Matt gracelessly crashed to the floor. Keith snatched up his sword and lunged forward, pressing his opponent to the floor with his body weight and his sword at his jugular.

“You said something about surrendering, Holt?”

Despite the glowing weapon above his neck, Matt’s face spread into a huge smile as he laughed. Crinkles bunched up around his huge amber eyes. Keith could smell the faintly acidic-sweet of his skin, feel his body heat radiating up. It was then Keith became very aware that he was kneeling between Matt’s legs and how their faces were less than a foot apart. His heartbeat refused to slow down.

Keith clumsily moved backward away from Matt and landed a little too hard on his ass. Matt sat up. “I’ll take that retreat as your concession.” Keith whacked his shoulder with the flat of his blade and stood. Matt rubbed the spot dramatically and muttered, “I can’t believe you’d do me like this.”

 _What does that even mean?_ Keith shrunk his sword and walked back to the edge of the arena where the water was. When he turned Matt stood right behind him and was peering at Keith’s right hand. “It is so cool that your sword can change forms like that. Would you mind if I looked at it?”

Keith didn’t reply, just slurped his water and handed over the dagger handle first. Matt slowly twired it as he examined the hilt. His fingertip gently stroked along the blade’s edge.

“What are you doing?”

Matt purposefully tapped the grip as though doing so would tell him anything. “How does this work? Grow from this into a sword four times as long?”

“Magic, I guess.”

“But how do you _activate_ it? I can’t find any mechanisms here.”

Keith snorted. “Uh, willpower? I imagine it as a sword or a knife and it just becomes it.”

Matt held the dagger at the grip in one hand, out in front of him. For several seconds he stared intently at it. His thick eyebrows were furrowed in concentration. Keith huffed out a surprised laugh when it hit him what he was doing.

“It won’t work if you’re not galra. Or half-galra.”

“Ohhhhhh. It reacts to your DNA.”

“Yeah. Only the owner can use it.”

Matt hummed interestedly and handed the knife back to Keith. “So the Blade of Marmora gave you one when you found out you’re part galra?”

“No. I’ve, um, had this knife for as long as I can remember.” He paused. “My mom left it with my dad before she left Earth.”

“Your mom was a Blade?”

“Yeah.” Keith slid down the wall and onto the floor. “She is.”

“ _Is?_ You mean she’s still -” Matt’s sentence broke off. “Keith. Did you...meet your mother?”

Keith avoided his eyes, but nodded. He trusted Matt. But that trust was warring with his compulsive need to keep his secrets close to his chest. He rubbed his thumb across the glowing violet insignia on the hilt. Even through his gloves, the texture comforted him.

Matt had fully sat down by then. “Wow, that’s...shit. That’s a lot.” Keith could only nod again in agreement.

Silence stretched out between them. The only sounds in the high, echoing room were the engines thrumming, Matt swallowing down his water, and the light scratch of fabric rubbing against luxite.

Eventually, Matt said, “I get it if you’d rather not talk about it. It’s okay. But if that changes, if there’s anything about your mom that you just _need_ to get off your chest, you’re welcome to vent at me any time.” Keith looked up at his golden eyes. “Even if you don’t know what you feel or the words don’t make any sense. I’m all ears.”

Matt looked at Keith with an expression that Keith didn’t quite recognize. But it made him feel warm. “Thank you.”

Matt smiled, which was more than easy to understand. “No problem. In the meantime, think you can get to sleep now? ‘Cause I’m beat.”

* * *

Pidge slouched at the breakfast table, sans glasses and ensconced in her green paladin pajamas. She’d spent the entire previous quintant with Rhyner absorbing as much as she could about Olkarion programming and architecture and had had to be dragged back to the castle by Allura several vargas into the night cycle. She’d then had to be dragged half-asleep out of her bed by Coran that morning.

Everyone else was already dressed in their armor. Lance pushed a cup of alien not-coffee at her that she immediately drank like it was her lifeline. Hunk had created the drink when he discovered a fruit chock full of a caffeine-like stimulant on a wet, tropical planet. It tasted like hot, bitter apple juice.

Coran was speaking about the itinerary for the ‘Celebration of Unity,’ as he’d begun to call it. He’d calmed down after the _Voltron Show_ fiasco but he was still rather excited as he gushed about their impending “Form Voltron!” demonstration.

“Actually, Coran,” Hunk interjected, successfully peeling Pidge’s attention from her not-coffee, “I think we should maybe not form Voltron at this thing.”

Coran put his hands on his hips. “Oh?”

“I - I mean…” Hunk briefly locked eyes with Lance, who looked away and dug back into his food goo. “Look, we’re cementing the unity between Lotor’s empire and the Voltron Coalition, right? And most of the rebellion’s leaders are coming. The whole event paints a neon red target sign on Olkarion for any evil galra trying to be the next Zarkon.”

Allura asked, “Hunk, how do you suppose that _avoiding_ forming Voltron will help defend the planet?”

“I think he means divide and conquer,” Lance said. “Some of us stay for the big peace party, and some of us take our lions and look out for enemy ships.”

“It’ll be conspicuous if several of the Voltron lions are missing,” Shiro countered. “And splitting up would probably make us weaker.”

“I picked up a message from Captain Olia this morning,” Hunk said. “She’s volunteered her fleet to help fend off any potential attacks.”

Shiro folded his hands and leaned forward, voice hard. “Then, along with Lotor’s security, I fail to see why we need any lions above the atmosphere in the first place.”

Lance’s leg was bouncing agitatedly next to Pidge. Hunk turned red and sputtered. “Shiro I’d just feel a lot better if me, Lance, and Pidge were up there on defense instead of stuck on the ground waiting for something to happen!”

As Shiro opened his mouth to reply, enough of Pidge’s brain finally came online to catch up with her friends’ line of reasoning. “Lance and Hunk have a point,” she said. Everyone looked at her. She took another sip of her space-tea-coffee-juice. “Shiro’s the head of Voltron; Allura is the leader of the coalition; and Lotor is the new Galran Emperor. If this whole thing is symbolic, you three are the most important people to be visible at the Unity Celebration since you’re the leaders. But Hunk and I aren’t exactly diplomats. We’d be a lot more useful looking for rogue galra than looking pretty for the cameras.”

Shiro looked placated, if not entirely convinced. Allura was a lot more on board. “Then it’s settled. You three will join the rebels during the event.”

Pidge turned to Lance. “You willing to miss the opportunity to have your face broadcast across the universe?”

“I can fight too! I’m coming with you and Hunk,” Lance told her indignantly.

“Dude, chill out, I just know how much you love being the center of attention. What happened to all that ‘razzle-dazzle’?”

“Somehow I’ll live.”

“I’m not saying you can’t fight. Lance, this festival is your “baby” – and I’m quoting you directly here – but you’re just going to _miss_ it? You and Coran spent movements planning this party.”

“You don’t need to rub it in. I’m taking my responsibilities as a defender seriously.” He playfully shoved her head away from him. Pidge ribbed him back then went back to her breakfast. The others, who had eaten well before Coran had plopped her in the dining room, stood up and started going about their business for the day ahead. Almost everyone had filtered out when she saw Lance intercept Allura, talking to her quietly. She couldn’t see his face or hear them over her chewing, but the Princess’s expression flitted from relieved to concerned to solemn. Brows furrowed, Allura laid a hand on his shoulder. Pidge averted her eyes, shoveled the rest of the goo in her mouth, and withdrew to her lion’s hangar.

 --

Shiro and Allura met Rhyner at the front doors of the Castle of Lions later that morning. Pidge went with them, while Hunk went to board his lion, to explain to Rhyner why three out of five paladins wouldn’t be at the celebration.

“I’m sorry for the last-minute change of plans. We just think this is a necessary precaution.”

Rhyner assured her, “It’s no problem, I understand. You have a duty to maintain peace and this will be a more productive use of your time to that end.” The older woman cupped the back of Pidge’s neck with her cool hand and gently pressed their foreheads together in what she’d learned was a motherly and affectionate gesture. It made her ache for her mom back on Earth. “Be safe, Green Paladin. The spirit of the Olkari is with you.”

“Thank you.”

Shiro cleared his throat. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but we should start heading to the city plaza.”

Rhyner released her. “Yes of course. Come with me.”

Standing in the doorway as they left, Pidge saw Lance leaning against the castle wall, bathed in the golden sunlight. He gazed out to where the city was decorated with huge canopies, and brightly colored banners hung from floating decks dotting the sky.

“Hey, Lance. Can I talk to you?”

He plastered a goofy grin on his face. “Yeah sure. I’m just about to head to my lion..” He pushed himself off the wall and went inside. Pidge hurried after him. “What’s up, Pidge?”

She grabbed his forearm to slow him down, walking backwards. She lowered her voice. “What were you and Allura talking about earlier?”

“What?”

“Right after breakfast. You were telling Allura something and she didn’t look happy.”

“Oh. Um,” Lance looked oh-so-surreptitiously over his shoulder, then leaned down and quieted his voice. “Keith and a team from the Blade of Marmora came today with the rebels. I thought she should know.”

“Shiro called Keith?”

“No. I did,” he snapped. Lance didn’t raise his voice again but continued walking. “They’re gonna be our ground support, just as a precaution. In case there _is_ an attack and someone manages to get planetside.”

Pidge smiled. “Nice thinking. But why the secrecy? We’re in the castle.”

“You saw Shiro this morning. Lately if it isn’t his idea, he doesn’t wanna hear it.”

“But it’s a good idea.” Lance shrugged, not looking at her. “Lance, what’s wrong? Are you still upset about what happened with Allura?”

His head snapped to her direction, surprised. “What? No! Not really important right now, Pidge.” He stopped outside of Red’s hangar and gripped her arm. “You can’t tell anybody, I’m really worried about Shiro. There’s something _weird_ going on with him.”

Well, he certainly had her attention. “Okay. Define ‘weird.’”

Huffing a frustrated sigh, he searched for the words. “Shiro. He’s just...he’s been acting so different from before. Before that big fight with Zarkon and he vanished straight out of the black lion?”

Pidge thought about it and looking back, Shiro had become stiff and a lot more confrontational since he’d escaped the galra the second time.

Lance wasn’t done talking. “And a while ago when the Castle shut down, he told me he wasn’t feeling like himself. At the time I figured it was just oxygen deprivation, right? And I know I sound crazy right now saying all this out loud. I have no idea what but I just feel like something is _really_ wrong. The weirdest thing though, last time we were here and we all entered that Lion-spirit-void-thing...I dunno what it’s called…”

Pidge shrugged. “I’ve just been referring to it as the Voltron Mindscape in my head.”

“Remember how Shiro took a long time to show up?” She nodded. “Right before I woke up again in my lion, he was calling out to me, trying to say something. But when I asked him about it after the battle he had no idea what I was talking about. He didn’t remember the mindscape _at all_ , Pidge. His mind just went black.”

“Why would Shiro be the only one to forget that? Hunk and Allura remember it too.”

“I’m honestly lost here, Pidge.”

“What if his bond with the black lion is weakening? But that doesn’t make any sense! He showed up, he was there with us!” Okay, she was starting to see why this was freaking him out. She stared up at Lance with wide eyes. “Lance, what if Black really is letting go of Shiro? What if he’s losing his touch and we can’t form Voltron anymore? This could be _really bad!_ ”

Lance opened his mouth to speak but they heard a tinny voice coming from their helmets, like somebody was shouting through the speakers. Pidge could barely hear it over her fingers agitatedly tapping on her helmet, which she hadn’t realized she was doing. When Lance immediately put on his helmet she followed suit.

“ - where are you guys? I’m all alone out here!” Hunk’s voice reverberated through the comm. Oh. The Yellow Lion must’ve already taken off.

“We’re heading up, buddy, cool your pants for another minute,” Lance told him. He grasped Pidge gently by the shoulders. “You know what, we’ll deal with this thing after the ceremony’s over. If anyone can figure out what’s happening it’s you, Pidge.” He gave her a confident smile that’s miles away from his trademarked cocky grin and ran off to where Red was waiting with her mouth open. As Pidge hurried to her own lion she told herself it was pre-battle nerves that made her cheeks feel hot and her heart pound.

 --

“Okay, team. Protecting the Coalition leaders is our top priority. Is everyone in position?” Lance’s voice reverberated through the Green Lion’s cockpit as she swooped in a circle around Yellow.

“No, it’s just the three of us and Lotor’s guards so far,” Hunk replied irritably. “Aren’t the rebels supposed to be out here with us?”

Pidge flipped open a comm link with her brother. “Matt, where are you guys?”

“Captain Olia has teams on each of Olkarion’s moons, waiting at the ready.”

“Hunk! You said you and Yellow were the only ones out here!” Lance sounded deeply annoyed.

“They’re purposely hiding on the moons! Excuse me for not finding the _hidden_ rebel fighters!”

A familiar voice cut in over Matt’s line. “Shut up and focus, you guys.”

“Is that - ?” Hunk asked.

“KEITH!” Pidge yelled excitedly.

“I’ll be on the northern moon in a few minutes. I just had a special delivery to drop off.” Pidge could hear the grin in Matt’s voice.

“What are we, packages?” Keith grumbled.

“Yep,” Matt replied cheerfully.

Keith huffed. “Anyways. Lance called, said you guys could use some backup. Matt’s crew picked us up yesterday.”

“Good to have you back, buddy,” Lance said. “Thanks for bringing the ninja samurai squad.”

Matt laughed while Keith peevishly corrected Lance on his Japanese history.

Pidge interrupted, “Matt, get your ass out here.”

“With haste, milady.”

Pidge rolled her eyes and Lance snickered. “Pidge, use your Lion’s cloaking to patrol the system and do some long-range scanning for any power-hungry purple nasties.”

“Roger that.” Pidge took off toward the outermost celestial bodies in the star system and scanned the surrounding quadrant. The extra distance wouldn’t save them much time with a quicker warning, but even a handful of extra ticks could be vital. Pidge had been satisfied to learn that precision was essential in war. She dropped sensors on passing asteroids and dwarf planets as she went that would alert her immediately of approaching ships.

Through the comm she heard Lance tell Hunk to hover in the upper atmosphere directing above the capital city, where Yellow should blend in well with the clouds. He, Matt, and Olia were coordinating battle strategies for the most probable attacks. Lance had certainly come a long way from the reckless and pushy fighter pilot she’d been assigned to at the Garrison.

* * *

 

Lance watched the screen to his left in Red’s cockpit, where a vid was streaming from an aerial robot filming the festivities on the planet below. On a huge, elaborate dais floating in front of Rhyner’s space grade laser ray, Allura confidently delivered her speech to the Coalition. She looked every inch the capable warrior in her pink paladin armor. Lotor stood smugly to her side and Shiro on the other.  Below them, the sleek city streets were filled with brightly-colored pavilions and decorations, packed with Olkari and intergalactic refugees. The crowds rippled with activity and excitement even as they clearly paid the princess rapt attention.

An obnoxious beeping interrupted Lance’s thoughts. He shut off the screen. “Pidge, is that alarm what I think it is?”

“A galra ship just triggered a sensor on the outer rim of the system.” Another beeping started up in chorus, then another. And another. Quickly a whole cacophony of alarms were screaming at him. “Quiznak, there’s an entire fleet coming at us!”

“Pidge, can you stream whatever you’re getting from those sensors to the rest of us?”

“Copy that.”

Over the comm, the voice of Lotor’s head of security, Sergeant Bark (only Pidge’s sharp elbow in his ribs had kept Lance from busting out laughing when Bark had introduced herself) growled through the speakers. “Red Paladin. I will have my drones fly out to intercept this fleet before they ever get this close. The Voltron Lions and rebels must stay here as reinforcements in the event of my troops’ demise.

Lance huffed deeply and rolled his eyes at her tone and...choice of words. “Go for it. You all heard the lady!”

Pidge’s voice: “I’ve uploaded the incoming ships’ positions to your computer, Sergeant Bark.” Lance bit his tongue and narrowly avoided laughing. The Empire’s ships jetted off into space out of visual range, supposedly (but hopefully not) to meet their doom.

“They’re gonna get creamed out there.”

“That’s what we’re here for,” Olia said.

Suddenly Matt called out, “Guys, I’m picking up a squad of enemy fighters coming right at me!”

“What the quiznak?” Lance cried out. “Aren’t you on the other side of the planet?!”

“They must be trying to sneak past the main defense. Matt, take a dozen fighters to intercept them,” Olia commanded. She then ordered another dozen rebel battleships to spread out and patrol the rest of the planet, “and make yourselves unpredictable.”

That left Lance, Pidge, Hunk, Olia, and about a quarter of her fleet to protect the Capital from a direct attack.

Hunk started, “Sergeant Bark, what’s your sta -”

“Paladins of Voltron.”

Sendak’s hairy interrupting face flicked onto Red’s viewscreen, completely obstructing Lance’s line of sight.

He groaned loudly. “What the hell do _you_ want?”

“So hostile,” Sendak growled. “I’m here to make you an offer, Red Palain. Surrender the Olkari planet and the abomination of an emperor now, and under my rule, I will spare your lives and allow you keep the Voltron lions.”

Lance’s hands tightened on his controls. “Listen here, you slimy little -” Sendak’s ugly mug abruptly vanished, replaced by a flood of green light and Pidge’s considerably cuter face.

“Lance! It’s a distraction! A bunch of ships just peeled off the main fleet and they’re headed towards the planet!”

Lance checked his display and sure enough, a pack of enemy ships had broken off and were closest to his position. “I’m on it!” Lance sped off and as soon as he got within firing range, carefully aimed for the fuel cells of the biggest ones. His Royal Butthead Highness told the team before that the engines of most smaller galra vessels were located near the belly. Breath in, breath out, and _pow, pow, pow,_ several ships went up in bright white and orange flames. Shrapnel glanced harmlessly against Red’s hull.

Lance made quick work of the remaining fighters in the runaway pack. At close range he flipped and evaded when they turned their fire onto him, successfully diverted from the planet. He formed Red’s jawblade and darted to the underbellies of the small ships and slashed through them - a move he’d never have managed in Blue. That bought him enough time to put some distance between them and himself. Back in his long-range comfort zone, Lance busted out the big gun. With an almighty roar reverberating through the lion, Red blasted the remaining ships to smithereens.

“Those drones are _space dust_ now,” he announced. “Guys, what’s your status?” Lance abandoned his new debris field to find his allies engaged in their own skirmishes. A gigantic battle frigate - no doubt where Sendak was hiding - closed in fast.

“HUGE enemy mothership coming our way!”

“I see it” and “No shit, Sherlock” chorused from his teammates.

Lance shot out what remained of the Green Lion’s adversaries. “Pidge, think you can get close enough to infiltrate and sabotage that thing?”

Lance could hear the smirk in her voice when she responded, “Hell yeah. Cover me.” Green vanished from sensor readings as she reactivated her cloaking.

“Are you two crazy?” Hunk demanded. “You can’t board a giant enemy battle frigate alone!”

“Of course she can, she’s _Pidge._ Are you going to keep whining or help me cover her?” Hunk, grumbling unhappily, agreed. Though Lance couldn’t deny the sick feeling in his own stomach at the thought of Pidge sneaking inside without him to cover her back, she was the only one who could get away with it. “Captain Olia, you guys got this?”

“Go. My troops can handle these fighters.”

“Copy,” Lance and Hunk replied in unison. They smashed through their tinier foes to get to the head honcho.

“I’ll get its attention. Hunk, try to disable that thing’s weapons.” Lance flew up and got in Sendak’s mothership’s metaphorical face.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIFFHANGER  
> I'm already working on the next chapter. It was originally going to be part of this one, but I hit 4,500 words and was like "nope, better not, I wanna get this posted."  
> Please leave a review! It really helps with the motivation to keep writing. I LIVE off of reviews.  
> hmu on my tumblr, rainforestgeek.tumblr.com


	5. The Green Paladin's Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do not underestimate Pidge. Just...don't do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand the wait is over. Hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Sneaking onto the ship was the easy part. Pidge landed her undetectable lion on the hull close to the wide-open bay doors of one of the many hangars. The cavernous room was bustling with drones, low-level galra soldiers, and damaged space fighters being repaired, so with all the activity Pidge had little trouble getting past them.

Actually _finding_ the engine room was the hard part. With little knowledge of this particular class of battleship and no way to scan it without the Blue Lion, she was left to take an educated guess of its location. But after half a varga of running around the empty corridors with no results and a handful of close calls almost being discovered, Pidge was about ready to scream in frustration. She hadn’t found any primary access panels, either. The locked doors she hacked easily enough but gave her no access to the central computer. She kicked the wall and was considering risking having her comms intercepted by calling Hunk for help when she heard the steady clanking of a sentry’s footsteps coming toward her from around the corner. She dove for cover in an alcove in the wall and waited, crouching at the ready.

Thankfully, the big metal biped clanked right by without noticing her. Seizing the opportunity, Pidge leapt onto its back and deactivated it with a few swift keystrokes on the control panel below its neck. It slumped to the floor, taking her with it, and she landed painfully on her hip. She bit back a curse then quickly synced her gauntlet to the sentry’s control panel. She uploaded a virus that she’d written based on the data she got from that first sentry she hacked at the Galactic Hub.

If it worked, the virus would hijack the robot’s artificial brain, rerouting the stored and incoming data and the command controls, to her armor. It took several doboshes to complete and Pidge kept a wary eye out for any more patrols coming her way. The robot the way too heavy for her to try and drag it into the alcove she’d hidden herself in before.

The holographic screen from the gauntlet flashed and the sentry’s head-lights glowed red. _Yes! I have a minion._ It stood up. She pulled up a map of the frigate from her sentry’s data core.

 _Fucking hell._ The engine room was on the other side of the ship.

Pidge followed her robotic minion as it led her to the engine room. She walked backwards at the ready with her bayard out, keeping an eye out on their six while Minion would alert her of anything ahead. It took her in a circuitous route, avoiding the more bustling sectors of the ship. It was a smart precaution but with every tick that passed Pidge cursed her slow progress. She hoped Lance and Hunk had a handle on the situation outside.

Finally, _finally_ Minion stopped at a set of important-looking doors and pressed its palm against the entrance pad to open them. They went inside – and Pidge immediately ducked behind a huge support beam because the engine room was teeming with galra. Sentries, floating drones, soldiers, and even an officer or two milled about the cavernous and noisy chamber. At its center was a glowing engine straight out of a cyberpunk novel that would make Hunk shit his pants.

_Quiznaking fucksticks. Okay, Minion. Let’s see how much we can get away with._

Pidge crawled toward a vent at the bottom of the nearest wall, carefully opened it, and slid inside feet first. Her visibility wasn’t great, but it was better than nothing and it would at least help her guide Minion where she needed it. She pulled up a holographic screen that streamed what the robot was “seeing.”

 _Let’s see if you know the engine schematics._ Turns out Minion _did_. She supposed that made sense – the droids were probably programed to be all-purpose. Pidge studied the mechanisms of the ships energy source.

 _Oh, holy hell. It uses xanthorium crystals to enhance the power of the weapons and the hyperdrive._ Like most of these huge ships, it used a balmeran crystal as it’s primary power source. She was no engineer, but Pidge was sure she found bastardized elements of Altean technology that must have been integrated into Galran designs in the empire’s early decaphoebes.

Minion approached a station (quietly deactivating the sentry manning it) that appeared to direct the current of quintessence-enriched electricity to various parts of the ship. Much of the xanthorium was used in the engine room, but there were also strategically placed chambers of the crystals close to each weapons station. Pidge smirked as she realized she could use this. This whole place was _littered_ with weapons stations. Keeping the explosions at the exact right magnitude required meticulous control over the energy flow throughout the ship’s guts. She had Minion get to work.

The principle behind her plan was simple: blow the ship up using its own power boosters. It was easy to think of each weapon station as a primitive firearm, with the current acting as the spark and the xanthorium as gunpowder. The xanthorium had been cut into uniform sizes that would explode at the brief contact of a tightly-controlled current and direct the resulting energy into the weapons’ mechanisms, giving the galra a nice boost of power behind their attacks. Once a piece had been used and disintegrated, the next one slotted into place to be exploded next. But if the chambers overloaded, all the crystals in the chambers would explode uncontrollable at once. It would completely cripple their weapons and breach the hull in a dozen critical places.

Minion reprogrammed the algorithm that controlled the paths of primary power into secondary channels. She needed at least seventy-five percent of the xanthorium chambers to overload at exactly the same time. It was tedious work, but I thankfully took less time than Pidge had anticipated.

Pidge breathed a quiet sigh of relief. She had fifteen doboshes to get back to Green before her DIY bombs went off. She slowly crawled out of the vent to sneak to the door and make a swift, painless escape.

If only.

She wasn’t as annoyed at getting caught so much as that it was a _stupid_ way to get caught. She didn’t epically fuck up, didn’t trip a hidden alarm, didn’t run headfirst into an enemy that popped up out of nowhere. Nope. All those missions when she had perfect timing, only to now just get spotted for being a split second too slow.

Pidge charged at the nearest sentry – which was not-so-coincidentally her own minion. It blocked her attack easily and bent her arms behind her back, metal hands clamping her wrists together. Discreetly, she whispered instructions to her robot through her helmet comms. Her escape wasn’t totally busted yet.

What appeared to be the ranking officer approached her. He was average-sized for a galra, just under seven feet, and the fuzz covering him erred on the blue side of purple. “What is this? Wearing the armor of the Green Paladin?” He gave her a critical once-over. “This tiny thing?”

Pidge growled at him and struggled against the robot holding her. “Tiny, huh? You wanna fucking _go_ , assface?”

She couldn’t tell if the officer rolled his eyes – given the lack of pupils – but his expression grew irritated and just over it. But she swore his tone was smug, though, when he said, “Escort the whelp to General Sendak. From what I’ve heard, he’ll want to deal with _this one_ himself.” He then turned around like he had better things to do than worry about Pidge – good. Meant he wasn’t suspicious of any meddling. The sentry marched her out the door and through the cold corridor. A squad of other sentries followed, much to her chagrin.

They passed right by the hangar outside of which she’d left Green, but the sentries surrounding her meant she couldn’t make a break for it. Pidge suppressed a frustrated growl. _Guess we’re going to see Overlord Fur Face after all,_ she thought. She’d anticipated that; but why couldn’t things go the easy way for her just once?

Pidge and her entourage of robots walked through corridor after corridor, took multiple elevator-lift-things, and she was getting nervous. She counted the ticks in her head: time was running out before everything blew up, and this escort was taking forever.

Finally a set of double doors swooshed open to reveal they’d reached the bridge. It was a spacious room with a raised command podium in the center and floor-to-ceiling windows (no doubt made from space-grade reinforced glass). Apparently the galra were less fond of view screens than humans. Standing on the island, Sendak turned toward Pidge with a sneer.

“How did you get _uglier?_ ” Pidge blurted out.

“Petulant child for a Paladin of Voltron.” Ugh, that voice was terrible on her senses. Somehow like oily gravel and sunburn. Sendak walked closer to her. “You’ve been a nuisance, whelp. I will take great pleasure in killing you.”

“I kicked your ass once. I’ll just do it again.” Pidge’s internal clock told her she only had two doboshes left.

Sendak leaned down, his meaty breath stinking too close to her face. Was it possible for something to smell like flies? “As I recall, it took all of the paladins to even trap me. This time, you’re the one on my ship. You’re the one all alone.

 _Fifty ticks left_. Pidge’s heart pounded with anxiety and excitement. She’d have to be quick for any hope of escape. And the dumbass didn’t have his helmet on.

Sendak straightened. “Initiate a full sweep,” he barked. The attention of everyone on the deck snapped onto his orders. “The girl probably brought aboard accomplices; only two lions –”

 _Twenty ticks._ Minion released her hands. Quick as lightning, Pidge summoned her bayard and shot its electrified blade into the exposed spot between his neck and jaw. The shocks arcing through the warlord jerked about his massive body. He hit the floor with all the grace of a boulder falling off a cliff.

 _Ten ticks_. Pidge wrenched her weapon out of the furry carcass. Behind her, loyal Minion started beating up as many enemies as it could. She took advantage of the crew’s moment of paralyzed shock to sprint for the nearest window, activating her energy shield. She heard blows land, metal creak violently, felt shots collide with her shield.

She raised her bayard. _Three ticks_. Shot straight ahead. _Two._ Leapt through the nebula of glittering, shattering glass and into empty space. _One._

Obviously, she didn’t hear an explosion. Sound can’t travel in a vacuum. But Pidge sure as hell felt a storm of heat and shrapnel shoot her even deeper into space.

She called for Green desperately in her mind. Everything _hurt_ , and made it hard to think. She was quickly recompensed by the sight of her beautiful glowing lion rapidly approaching. She scooped Pidge up in her mouth, and Pidge landed hard on the cockpit’s floor with a sideways roll. Groaning, she hauled herself into the pilot’s chair.

“Mission accomplished, guys.”

Loud whoops and cheers blasted through her helmet’s speakers. She flinched.

“Pidge, you beautiful, miracle Wonder Woman! That was amazing!”

Adrenaline already had her heartbeat drumming up a storm. But hearing Lance say that made her cheeks feel even hotter and her very blood vessels get all jittery.

“Captain Olia? Sergeant Bark? How we lookin’?” Lance called out.

“The remainder of the fleet on this side is retreating,” the seargeant reported.

“We’ve picked off a few dozen squads over here,” Matt chimed in. Pidge felt relieved to hear his voice. “Anyone else are also turning tail.”

“We won? We won!” Hunk celebrated. “Great job, Pidge! You really hit them where it hurts!”

“And you thought it was too dangerous. Hey Pidge, high five!”

“We’re in our lions, Lance.”

“Oh, right. High giant mechanical paw!”

Pidge was so high on adrenaline that she enthusiastically acquiesced. Red and Green flew at each other and crashed their right paws with an enormous _clang._ The impact reverberated violently through the cockpit and gave Pidge a throbbing headache.

“My skull is vibrating,” Lance said. “So worth it.”

The radio chatter in Pidge’s ears began to fade to the background, as her nervous system slowly exited fight/flight/freeze mode and weariness set into her bones. “Guys, I’m completely beat. I’ve gotta go back to the Castle.”

“See you down there, Pidge. Go take care of yourself,” Hunk replied.

“Yeah, sure.” Pidge deactivated her microphone and shot towards Olkarion’s surface. With every kilometer she grew more and more tired. The adrenaline drained from her body, leaving behind the deep soreness of whatever injuries undoubtedly littered her body. She broke the atmosphere and her hands started shaking. The Castle came into view and a wave of exhaustion crashed over her. She landed the Green Lion in her hangar and tried to stand; but her body felt made of molten lead. Pidge gave up struggling against the darkness tugging at her consciousness. She submitted to the respite pulling at her brain and her vision went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY FOR THE WAY I ENDED IT  
> I mean, kind of. Chapter 6 will be up very shortly because it's completely written, just needs to be edited. For our Keith lovers out there, he gets more attention up next. I felt it appropriate to dedicate this one entirely to Pidge considering how I ended chapter 4. And to show how badass and vicious she can be.  
> As always if you liked this please leave a comment!


	6. Too Close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's up sooner than usual, as promised! I hope this waters your Plance.
> 
> If you spot a typo or grammatical error, PLEASE let me know.

Keith recognized her instantly. One of Lotor’s old generals, the blue one with big eyes. He wracked his brain for her name – _Acxa._ She slipped her way through the fringes of the crowd, nearly invisible if it weren’t that she was the only person in the city not socializing and celebrating. Something Keith could relate to on principle, but the last time he’d seen her she was working for Haggar – who was with Sendak. Never mind that she’d saved his life that night.

He reported this to Selick. The agent’s gravelly voice responded. “What is her position?”

“A couple hundred meters south of the City Palace. It looks like she’s making her way there.” Keith slunk in the shadows parallel to her path, trying to pass and cut her off. Selick told him to keep his eyes on her. He checked with the border patrol for their status.

“It’s been inactive,” Nox reported. “Do you want us in the city for backup?”

“No. The general may be attempting to draw us to her and leave the boundaries unguarded.”

Keith kept pace with Acxa. Her path began to veer closer to his own. He quietly told the others, “Lotor’s old generals have been working with the druid witch, so keep your eyes peeled for robeasts.” That was when he saw his chance: a narrow but open split in the crowd straight toward his target a few meters away. It was a noisy area and the opening was in her blind spot. He swiftly closed the distance, grabbed her arm and locked it behind her back, and slipped his dagger against her unarmored waist.

After training with the Blades for a long time, Keith learned all the major weak spots on galran bodies (including, apparently, his own, which clarified his dad’s old war with the medical establishment). His blade was pressed against a major artery running down her right side. If he slashed or stabbed that spot, she’d bleed out in less than a dobosh. It was a pretty dumb weakness, but like many bipedal species galra often left their torsos minimally protected to avoid restricted agility in battle.

Acxa twitched, as though about to defend herself but stopped. Smart. Keith could kill her before she’d be able to do anything with her free arm. Trying to be as discreet as possible, Keith pushed her forward and hid them behind a monumental, silvery pillar framing the City Palace’s front steps. It seems he intercepted her just in time. He pinned her against the metal.

“Where’s Haggar?” Keith growled.”

She looked at him coolly. “Why should I tell you that?”

“Because she’s a demented witch who tortures and experiments on people.”

“Not much of an answer. Besides – ” her tone was frustratingly nonchalant “ – you won’t be able to stop Haggar, no matter what I do or do not tell you.”

“We’ll see about that.” Keith summoned a pair of alien handcuffs and secured Acxa’s wrists behind her back. “Selick, I have the general I was following captured. We’re just outside the palace. Keep watch for the red one and the big one.”

“I have eyes on the latter,” replied Kivva. “She’s close to your position, Keith.”

“Do NOT engage the other general, Keith – I can hear you thinking it.” Keith rolled his eyes. “Get out of there, we’ll take care of her.”

“Yes, sir.” He turned Acxa around and pushed her toward the Blades’ rendezvous point. Unfortunately that split second with his knife pulled away was all she needed.

Keith hit the ground _hard_ , vision spinning. Somehow she’d swept his legs out from under him with one foot. She shoved her boot against his neck, cutting off most of his air supply. A brief image flashed through his mind, of a similar but much more playful position he’d been in just a day ago. He saw light brown eyes instead of yellow and blue.

 _What the fuck._ Chalking it up to oxygen deprivation, Keith shoved aside the memory of Matt’s smirking face. He summoned his sword. The slash at Acxa’s abdomen barely grazed her,but only because she jumped off him and out of range. Keith gasped for air, stumbled to his feet, and attacked.

It was easily his most goddamn frustrating fight to date. The ex-general was unarmed and both her hands were restrained, but she still evaded each of his attacks fluidly. And holy crap, she knew how to kick an enemy where it counted.

A deep voice bellowed out, “ACXA!” That same second Keith heard the distinct sounds of laser fire start up. The burly general with huge ears charged toward them, dodging the snipers trained on her. In his moment of distraction, Acxa rammed Keith with her heavily armored shoulder and knocked him off balance. She spun and snatched her gun out of his holster.

The newcomer – what was her name again? – slashed Acxa’s bonds and promptly got shot in the leg for pausing her evasive maneuvers.

Acxa trained her weapon on Keith. “Zethrid, call it in,” she ordered. Zethrid was yelling and dodging fire, looking way passed annoyed. The hit had barely slowed her down.

On impulse Keith lowered his mask. He and Acxa stood in a frozen standoff for several moments. She was too far away for him to attack with his sword and she had a short-range energy pistol aimed and ready. Whether he charged her or not, his chances of getting shot looked much higher than getting to stab her.

A shadow passed over them with a great _whooshing_ noise. A dark, slightly beat up spacecraft hovered over them with the cargo doors open and a ladder hanging down. Once Zethrid had leapt on board, it moved closer to Keith and Acxa and she grabbed hold of the ladder, eyes and gun staying trained on his face. He watched, frustrated and helpless, as they sped away, vanishing into the atmosphere in a matter of ticks.

* * *

Lance’s good mood began to sour at the sound of Shiro’s voice in his ear like a cold wind. “Paladins, get back to the surface. Now.” The Black Paladin sounded tight and on edge. Shiro never used to make Lance feel nervous, except in fanboyish excitement. Nowadays, unless he was in a particularly good mood, Lance tensed in anticipation every time Shiro talked to him. And he sure as hell did _not_ sound like he was in a good mood.

“We’re coming. Did something happen? The festival and feast shouldn’t be over for another – ”

“ _Lance._ Just get down here. You, Hunk, and Pidge meet us on the bridge.” Shiro’s comm cut out with a sense of finality.

Lance looked over towards the Yellow Lion. “That was weird, right?”

Hunk responded, “I guess something got past us?”

“Well that _is_ what Keith was for. Let’s go see if he did his job.”

They blasted toward the planet, ducking and dodging through the debris field the fight had left behind. Lance couldn’t help but grin at the sight of enemy ships blasted into shrapnel. They’d dealt a major blow against the rogue galra today.

Mostly thanks to Pidge. He and Hunk covered her back while she snuck aboard, but let’s be honest: taking down that battleship was all her. It was crippled and dead in space, completely the handiwork of one tiny girl with a huge brain.

Lance soared into the atmosphere and flipped open a channel to Pidge.

“Hey Pidge, just making sure you heard Shiro say get to the bridge.”

The channel was silent. Like, completely silent. Frowning, Lance double-checked the connection. Yep, that was definitely Green. Maybe she’d turned off her helmet? Lance hit the button that makes a light flash inside the other lions’ cockpits to signal a they were trying to be contacted.

“Pidge? Where are you, are you okay?” She still didn’t respond. Hunk tried to get her with the same result.

_Oh, god. What if she got really hurt? That blast was pretty huge. But she sounded fine! Okay, she sounded rattled, but –_

Panic setting in, Lance repeatedly smashed the light signal, trying hard to get her attention. Hunk kept calling her name. Lance told him to shut up, listened intently, hardly seeing what was in front of him. And he heard nothing. Not even the sound of her breaths.

Lance landed Red roughly in her hangar, hitting the floor too fast and too hard, making her grumble at him. But behind her irritation she sympathized with his fear. He leapt out of her mouth before she’d even finished lowering her jaw and hit the ground running. Nothing but his heart pounded harder than his feet as he sprinted to the Green Lion’s hangar.

Hunk rattled away in his ears, “Oh god, she’s still not answering! Maybe her helmet’s damaged? Maybe she just disconnected? _Did something happen to her_ , Lance! Is Pidge okay?!”

“How the _fuck_ am I supposed to know that, Hunk?” Lance snapped. Hunk went quiet. Lance skidded to a stop in front of Green, who towered regally over him.

“Pidge!” Lance shouted. “PIDGE!”

For several heart-stopping moments, nothing happened. Just Lance sweating and heaving and staring at a giant, motionless robot with the sound of blood rushing in his ears. He tore off his helmet and threw it to the side in frustration. Hot tears forced their way out of his eyes. “Come on! Let me in!”

His plea must’ve done something, because Green flickered to life and finally lowered her head to grant him entrance. Lance gratefully sprinted into the dark cockpit and nearly crashed into the pilot’s seat – where a small figure sat still and slumped over. Like a doll with the strings cut. Lance carefully removed Pidge’s helmet and took her face in his hands, inspecting her carefully. No visible injuries, but her skin was unnaturally pale and clammy. Her thick bangs clung to her sweaty forehead. He pressed his fingers under her jaw, where he was relieved to feel a warm, steady heartbeat throbbing in her neck.

Lance gathered Pidge into his arms and carried her out into the hangar, where Hunk stood in the doorway with eyes the size of plates.

“She’s alive,” Lance rushed to tell him, “but knocked out. And I…I don’t…” Lance looked helplessly at the Green Paladin’s limp body. Out here in the light, he could really see how scorched, scratched, battered, and even dented her armor was. She may not have been gushing blood, but that didn’t mean she was safe.

Hunk looked her over when they reached him. “God knows what kind of internal injuries she’s got. Let’s get her to the med bay.” Hunk moved to take her, but Lance held her closer to his chest and started walking. He distantly heard Hunk radio Coran.

Lance tried his damnedest to get there quickly without jostling Pidge too much. He didn’t want to make her injuries worse, but he also couldn’t risk taking too long to get her in a healing pod. What if she was bleeding internally? What if she bled out before they got there? What if she’d hit her head and he couldn’t tell under all that fluffy brown hair and she had brain damage –

 _Oh my god, shut up,_ Lance told his melodramatic brain, and tried to stop thinking. Pidge’s cheek was pressed against his shoulder. The armor fogged slightly where her breaths brushed against it. If she didn’t look so sick, he’d think she were just sleeping.

Coran had to all but pry her out of Lance’s arms. While the old Altean medic eased her out of her battered armor and into a white medical bodysuit, Lance paced around the room trying (and failing) not to worry. He felt like his very blood vessels were shaking with fear. He couldn’t even relax once Pidge was safe and suspended in the healing pod. He leaned over Coran’s shoulder and craned his neck to get a good look at the monitor with Pidge’s readings – never mind that the Altean runes may as well have been Japanese for all that Lance could understand it.

“Is she gonna be okay? These things can heal anything right? _Right?_ She didn’t _sound_ hurt when she got out, but oh god we should have made sure – what’s that red flashing? _What does it mean?_ ”

“Whoa, calm down, number Three.” Coran didn’t bother pushing Lance off of him. “Pidge is going to be fine.”

Hunk dropped his head onto Lance’s shoulder and sagged against him with a relieved sigh.

Coran continued, “She got herself quite a lot of bruises, a few fractures, a little internal bleeding…but that appears to have clotted nicely already. From what I can tell, she fell asleep from sheer exhaustion from the battle. Her sympathetic nervous system took quite a lot out of her today..”

Lance almost cried. The tension fled from his muscles and left him ready to collapse. Which, under Hunk’s considerable body weight, he did, and both paladins ended up sprawled on the floor. Lance’s heartbeat finally slowed to something reasonable.

Behind them the medical bay doors hissed open. Frantic footsteps echoed into the room and Matt Holt skidded into view. He didn’t spare a glance for the other men in the room, just glued himself to the glass of Pidge’s healing pod. A familiar figure with dark, messy hair and black armor followed more slowly. He approached Matt and hesitantly squeezed his shoulder.

“KEITH!” A stressed and jumpy Hunk sprang upright and swept Keith into a tight hug. Maybe because he himself was emotionally strung-out, Lance burst int hysterical laughter at the expression on Keith’s face, which was smushed against Hunks chest plate.

Matt turned to them and glared. “Anyone care to tell me what happened to my little sister?”

Lance coughed and sobered. His voice stopped working.

Hunk saved him from trying to answer. “She snuck aboard Sendak’s frigate, blew it up, got back to the Castle, and passed out from over-exertion. The blast beat her up, but don’t worry!” Hunk added quickly. “It wasn’t anything too major. She’ll be good as new by…when’s Pidge getting out, Coran?”

Coran stroked his ginger moustache as he examined Pidge’s readings. “Oh, should be around tomorrow morning. But with a metabolism as fast as Number Five’s it may well be sooner.”

Matt reattached himself to the glass, gazing wide-eyed at Pidge’s sleeping face. “My little sister is such a fucking badass,” he announced in an awe-struck voice.

 _Well, that answers the question of where Pidge gets her sailor mouth,_ Lance thought. His older siblings had washed his tongue with soap for saying less. A throaty chuckle from his left distracted him, and he whipped his head around to see Keith smiling at Matt. His eyes crinkled around the corners and his cheeks were slightly pink. His expression was so soft that Lance barely recognized him.

“Hey, Keith.”

“Yeah?”

Lance paused. “What happened down here that made Shiro call us back so urgently?”

The pleasant look on Keith’s face darkened. “You were right about needing ground support. Lotor’s old generals were in the crowd. Two of them got away after we stopped them from blowing up the City Palace. Lotor and Kolivan captured the third trying to assassinate Allura.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys may have noticed that I have no consistency with chapter length whatsoever. And it will continue to be that way. Sorry, it's just the nature of the beast.  
> I don't have nearly as much time to write anymore because the semester is in full swing and O Chem is k i l l i n g me. But I am determined to finish this, so keep an eye out for chapter 7.
> 
> If you like this, leave a comment! I'm running out of metaphors about how much I depend on them as a writer, but I think you get the gist :)


	7. Down the Barrel of a Gun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I haven't proofread this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, if you spot a typo please let me know! I will not stand for typos hiding in my fics.

Pidge shivered. Blinked sleepily. Fog clouded her vision. Kinda bluish-white fog? She tried to rub her eyes but her limbs felt like they were encased in Jello. She yawned, breathing in cold steam.

Cold steam. Weird. Seemed familiar, though. Pidge convinced her foot to take a step forward, and she immediately fell face-forward into somebody’s arms.

For a moment she assumed the wiry body she'd collided with was her brother's. Once she blinked her eyes clear, she recognized the tough green fabric under her cheek.

She groaned, trying to get her bearings. Her whole body felt so weird. “…Lance? What – ”

He suddenly pulled her closer. Her feet left the ground and okay, she was being hugged now. Lance was hugging her. His strong arms were wrapped around her waist and back and squeezing her _tight_ , and _oh that feels good._ Pidge didn’t understand why Lance felt the need to attach himself to her like an octopus, but she wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. She clutched him around the neck and buried her face in the warm, soft hood of his jacket. His hair smelled like Altean soap.

“You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay…” Lance murmured over and over.

“I’m aware,” Pidge told him in a scratchy voice. “What exactly happened?”

He didn’t answer, just kept hugging her. She relaxed into his strong hold for several long moments. Until she grew more and more aware of something irritating her skin. She wriggled in his arms, trying to dislodge the sensation, but it just kept getting worse the more she woke up.

“Oh, shoot, sorry! Was that too tight?” Lance quickly set Pidge on her feet and let go.

“No, no, it’s just this…oh god, what am I wearing? Was I in a healing pod?” Whatever the skin-tight material on her body was, it felt like it was made of live ants. She scratched at the bodysuit, trying desperately to find the latch or zipper or whatever the hell secured this thing to her body.

Lance said, “I mean, yeah, you were all beat up and – are you okay?”

In lieu of answering Pidge finally got the damn thing to peel off her body. Maybe she should’ve been self-conscious about stripping in front of Lance but between the pervasive tingling sensation and the relief of getting that hellish fabric _off_ she couldn’t bring herself to care.

Lance made an incomprehensible sputtering noise. When Pidge looked up he was holding out a stack of green clothing to her, face flushed and eyes resolutely shut. “I got – j-just, I thought might wanna – uh, change so I…” He bit his tongue.

Pidge gratefully took her soft paladin pajamas from his hands and pulled them on. “Thanks, Lance. You can look, you know, seeing me in pajamas won’t send you straight to Hell. Don’t you have sisters?”

She expected him to snap into being all defensive and indignant. Instead he let out a string of broken laughs that sounded bizarrely like he was crying. He kissed the top of her head, said, “I’mma go tell Hunk to make you some real food,” and scuttled out of the med bay.

 _That was weird. Even for Lance._ While he never had much regard for his friends’ personal space, he’d never kissed her before. Or Hunk, to her knowledge. Matt never really did that when they were growing up; did Lance casually kiss his sisters on the head? Was that a brotherly kiss? Or just an ‘I’m-relieved-you’re-not-dead’ kiss?

Pidge shook the thoughts to the back of her mind. If she’d been in a healing pod, she needed to find out what day it was and what she’d missed. She found Hunk in the kitchen and herself on the receiving end of yet another bone-compressing hug. He pressed a huge bowl of hot pseudo-space-spaghetti in her hands, and caught her up to speed while she sat on the counter with her food. Eventually Allura came in to make sure Pidge didn’t leave the kitchen until she’d eaten her body weight in pasta. The princess filled in the blanks in Hunk’s account of what happened. Thankfully Pidge had only been in the healing pod for a night.

Pidge licked the last remnants of her breakfast from the bowl. “I’m surprised Ezor got so close with the Blade of Marmora on the job. They’re the elite of the elite of the galra resistance.”

“To be fair, they’ve been spread quite thin with the Empire in such an uproar,” Allura reasoned. “And Ezor could rival even Lotor or Kolivan in combat. Her camouflage abilities alone let her slip through most security. But there will be time enough to discuss this at the meeting today. Are you feeling well, Pidge? Coran told me you were exhausted to the point of fainting after the battle, alongside a few bone fractures.”

Pidge quirked an eyebrow. “That’s it? From the way Lance was acting this morning, I assumed you guys found me on Death’s door.”

“Lance was really worried about you.” Hunk twiddled his thumbs. “He’s a drama queen but I’ve _never_ seen him like that. Cussing and frantic and yelling at everyone.”

“Uh oh, did he actually drop a few ‘gosh, darn it’s?”

“More along the lines of ‘shut the fuck up.’”

Pidge stared at him skeptically, even as the mental image of Lance completely losing his shit struck her as absurdly endearing. “Really? _Lance_ said ‘fuck’? The same guy who slapped his hand over my mouth because I said ‘crap’ in front of a professor?”

“More to the point,” Allura interrupted, “You never answered my question. How are you feeling? Do you need any more rest?”

“Nah. I feel great. But what are those healing suits made out of? It made my skin itch like hell.

Allura frowned. “It did? Most hardly even notice it. The suits are designed to monitor your vitals and diffuse medicines into your bloodstream, and the fabric is very fine and light. Did Lance or Shiro have the same experience when they were injured? Is this a common problem for all humans? I don’t recall them mentioning anything.”

“That’s because not all humans’ brains are wired the same,” Hunk said. Pidge silently thanked him because she had no idea how to explain human sensory issues to an alien. “Pidge and Keith are like, hypersensitive to a lot of things. So something that’s totally irrelevant to most of us might feel really good or outright painful to them.”

Allura seemed to understand that. “Of course. Extreme differential processing of stimuli is common among many species. I should’ve guessed. Pidge I’m afraid there is not a more comfortable alternative to the healing suits, so best try not to get severely injured again.” She stood. “You should both get dressed. The Coalition meeting begins in a few doboshes. Given the circumstances it’ll be fine if you’re a little late, but I should really be there on time.”

\--

Hunk waited up for Pidge to get ready, and walked with her to City Palace to join the other leaders. When they arrived, in a beautiful and clean-cut conference room, the Coalition leaders were debating what to do with Ezor. Everyone behaved civilly enough, but Pidge felt palpable tension in the air. She and Hunk took a seat on either side of Lance at the huge, low, round table.

A Puig ambassador named B’Elanna was saying, “…target was Princess Allura, the Blue Voltron Paladin, it is the right of Voltron to deal with her.”

“It is not safe to hold Ezor on the Castle of Lions,” Lotor retorted. “She is crafty, and should not be so close to the Lions or to the princess after yesterday.”

“I agree,” Shiro chimed in. “Besides, the main attack was directed on the Coalition capital, so Ezor needs to stand trial under Olkarion law.”

Rhyner responded, “Ordinarily I would agree with you. But that wasn’t the true purpose of the attack. I evaluated the explosives planted under City Palace, and I found that if detonated, the damage would have been far from irreparable and produced very few casualties.”

“No self-respecting commander would risk such a high-profile attack without absolutely ensuring the target’s destruction,” another ambassador said.

“Which leads me to believe Allura _was_ the true target.”

“That doesn’t make much strategic sense,” Pidge mused out loud. “And it doesn’t sound like Sendak.”

She felt all eyes turn on her. “Sendak was not a total meathead. If assassination was his plan, this would be the most costly way to do it. It would’ve been more efficient to ambush the Castleship in space than throw half a fleet at a heavily-defended planet as a distraction.”

“The advantage is political,” B’Elanna said. “If he took out one of the core leaders of the Voltron Coalition with the entire universe watching, our peoples’ driving hope would have crashed through the ground.”

Lotor tapped his chin. “True. However, the Green Paladin makes a reasonable point. This entire affair is characteristic of Zarkon’s right-hand witch. Sendak, the imbecilic fool, merely acted as the Haggar’s puppet.”

That sparked a new fervor in the conversation around the table.

“Why does a druid care so much about the war continuing anyway?”

Allura spoke up. “Haggar is addicted to quintessence, and the evils she uses it for. She would do anything to keep her supply of quintessence freely flowing for her… _experiments._ Also, as the last alchemic Altean alive, I’ve no doubt she wants me dead.”

Pidge saw Lotor take the princess’s hand gently. She glanced at Lance next to him, but his eyes were glued to the table, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed.

Pidge turned her attention back to everyone else. “So Ezor was most likely acting on Haggar’s orders,” she said. “If Haggar is our most powerful enemy right now, and we have one of her inner circle in custody, we could use that to help us defeat her.”

“You mean like, interrogate Ezor?” Hunk asked.

“Well. Yeah.”

“It is possible she’d prove valuable,” Lotor thought aloud.

Shiro laid his galra hand flat on the table. “Pidge. Ezor is a war criminal. Using any information she gives us would be a waste of time. We can’t trust her.”

“Pidge didn’t say anything about trust,” Lance pointed out. “And she has a point. Ezor got through _all_ of our defenses. Who knows what else Haggar has up her raggy sleeves that we don’t know about. We need every advantage we can get.”

“I wasn’t here, but from what Allura and Hunk told me, Lotor’s ex-generals got onto the planet and navigated the city way more easily than they should have,” Pidge continued. She frowned. “That was a huge fleet to use as a distraction if they weren’t expecting a big pushback. It’s almost like…they knew what to prepare for. Like they had insider information.”

“Are you suggesting a SPY among us?” someone exclaimed. Anxious murmurs broke out around the table.

Keith leaned forward on the table so he could better see the rest of Team Voltron. “Lance. They didn’t know about the Blade being here. We definitely surprised them. Ezor got captured because of Kolivan.”

 _Wait a minute,_ Pidge thought. _If they knew our plan, it had to be someone high-ranking that ratted us out. Captain Olia picked up the Blade of Marmora agents, so the rebels knew they would be here._ Acid churned in her gut at the picture forming in her mind. _Shit._

Lance apparently went down the same mental track. He raised his voice over the paranoid mumbling: “But the only people who knew _our_ plan with the rebels but not about the Blades were Shiro, and _Lotor_.” He glared at the galra emperor, who stared back with narrowed eyes but otherwise unruffled.

Allura stood. She commanded the room with her regality, everyone quieting. “If anyone is doubting Lotor’s loyalties, I remind you that he has been implementing Voltron’s mission since he took the throne. He ended Zarkon, and despises Haggar as much as any of us. If not more so.”

“Allura, we’re just trying to figure out what went wrong, okay? That was a super close call. None of us want you dead.” Hunk turned to Lance and gently chided him: “Honestly man, we’re getting tired of the pointing-fingers-at-Lotor-for-everything schtick.”

“You’re tearing the team apart, Lance.” Shiro’s unnaturally harsh voice startled half the table. “Right now. Splitting up Voltron yesterday. We could have had an air-tight defense if you hadn’t gone off half-cocked with your own ideas and dragging the others with you. That was over the line.”

Pidge furiously jumped to her feet. “No. _You’ve_ gone way over the fucking line, Shiro. _You_ tried to talk us out of patrolling the outer system. _You_ failed to make any contingency plans for yesterday. _You_ have been unilaterally dictating the team for weeks. Lance is the Right Hand of Voltron, and had every right to make the decisions he did – especially when the _Head_ of Voltron is _preoccupied._ ”

Shiro turned to her. For the first time since Arus, it was painful to look him in the eyes. “Et tu, Pidge?”

“Whoa, hey, okay,” Hunk said, “let’s not bring Caesar into this, okay? Pidge, calm down.”

Pidge knocked aside Hunk’s hand, but didn’t fight Lance when he gently pulled her back into her seat by the wrist. The other ambassadors had fallen silent, looking on with confused trepidation.

“We can’t have a fractured team,” Lance pleaded. His grip on Pidge’s hand tightened under the table. “Shiro, I promise, none of us are trying to undermine you.”

“Lance is right.” Pidge still couldn’t look Shiro in the face but she fixed her eyes on a spot just by his head with a glare. “We have to work as a team. All of us. You used to be a great leader, Shiro, back when you TRUSTED us. What the hell happened? Where’s our Black Paladin?”

Only a heartbeat passed between the words leaving her lips and all hell breaking loose.

Shiro stood, growling, “Kaite Holt – ” and Lotor was out of his seat with his sword drawn before the shocked gathering could breathe. Shouting filled the room and the gigantic, glowing blade swung down – blocked with an echoing _clang._ Lance suddenly stood prone between Lotor and Shiro, sword-to-sword with the galran emperor.

Keith cut in a second later, the brief tension shattered, and the three of them broke out into a two-on-one sword fight. Well, okay, Keith did most of the actual fighting. But Lotor was beyond even Keith’s outrageous swordplay, centuries of combat under his belt; so for several seconds it took both boys’ combined efforts to prevent Lotor from cutting Shiro’s head off.

Pidge pulled out her own bayard. A violent parry made Lance stumble back a step. Shiro swept his impromptu body guard to the side – grabbed the collar of Lance’s armor and roughly yanked him out of his way and into the air. Time slowed down. Shiro charged Lotor and Keith. His face was twisted into something monstrous. Lance crashed to the floor. Pidge aimed and fired.

Shiro stopped, paralyzed, in his tracks. His hair stood straight upright and he twitched from the electricity shocking through his body from where Pidge’s blade was buried in his thigh. The black paladin fell to the floor.

Allura’s glowing whip yanked Lotor’s weapon from his hands, letting Keith push him against the wall with his sword at his throat. Hunk rushed to Shiro’s side, shouting, “What the hell just happened?”

“The witch has infiltrated Voltron,” Lotor snarled. Staring at Shiro’s slack face, Pidge’s stomach plummeted.

“You had best explain yourself _now_ , Lotor,” Allura demanded through gritted teeth. Coran

Slowly, so as not to provoke Keith glaring at him, he pointed to Shiro’s unconscious body. “That is your spy. A clone planted here by Haggar. She’s been watching us through his eyes.”

“Oh yeah? What’s your proof?” Lance dragged himself from the ground. Pidge went to him and helped him up

Allura’s grip on the hilt of Lotor’s sword trembled. “That’s a very bold claim. One difficult to believe from someone who attacked one of my paladins without provocation.”

He turned to Allura. “To eliminate an immediate threat. Please, princess. Believe me.”

“Keep begging. Before I kill you,” Keith threatened.

“Keith, stop!” Pidge yelled. “That can’t be Shiro.”

Lance, Keith, and Hunk all began protesting. Allura quickly silenced them with a stern order. “Go on, Pidge.”

“Did we all just see the same thing here? He was about to _attack_ you, Keith. He _did_ attack Lance. He’s been keeping secrets and fighting with everyone. You’ve known him the longest, Keith. Does that sound like our Shiro to you?

“And Lotor’s right. It all fits.”

Hunk looked at her dubiously. “Are you serious right now?”

“I wouldn’t have shot him if I wasn’t sure! I – I can’t explain it, but I looked at his face and I know that’s not Shiro.”

Coran spoke up. “Guys, you can’t really be doubting Number Five. If the smartest among us agrees with Lotor, I for one am inclined to believe it.”

Keith deactivated his blade and stormed out of the room.

Lance said, “I believe Pidge. But here’s some Teamwork 101, pal: explain yourself before trying to kill somebody on your own team.”

Lotor nodded at him wryly. Coran and Hunk hauled Shi – the clone to his feet to be locked in a cryopod indefinitely. Allura tiredly leaned on her hands on the table, considering the shocked conference staring at her.

She sighed. “We have a lot of matters to settle.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I use the stripping in front of each other trope a lot? Honestly surprised myself with that. But Lance is a gentleman, he didn't see much. More importantly they hugged. I fully believe that he gets clingy when he's emotional - poor guy got so scared last chapter.  
> Also some hypersensitive Pidge for me and all my peeps with sensory issues. They suck.
> 
> Please please leave a comment! It's the only way I know for sure you guys like this story, and I savor every single one.
> 
> hmu on tumblr @rainforestgeek


	8. Shelter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt has three conversations in the middle of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm sorry it took so long and I'm sorry it's so short. This chapter was supposed to be longer but it kind of rounded out this way, and I didn't want to keep you guys waiting even longer.

Keith spotted Matt a couple dozen meters down the hall and felt his heartbeat immediately pick up speed. He called out his name without thinking.

Matt looked up, then practically ran towards him. “Keith! I was looking for you. Are you doing okay after – ”

He couldn’t have this conversation out here. He grasped Matt’s elbow and pulled him into his old room. He shut the door but didn’t bother with the lights. The darkness felt comforting.

Keith’s eyes adjusted quickly. Antok had told him that was a galra thing – he’d always been able to see better in the dark than other humans.

Long minutes of silence, while Matt waited patiently, passed. Keith searched for words. “This is the third time I’ve lost him.”

“You’re really close, right?”

“He’s the only family I have. My dad died years ago.” Then there was his mom. Matt shifted his feet, which Keith learned meant he was debating whether he should say something. Keith sighed. “I guess my mom too, now.”

Matt stepped closer. “She can be your family now, too. If you’re ready to talk to her.”

Every one of Keith’s muscles seized up at the thought. He hoped he wasn’t shaking.

“Are you? Ready?”

Keith’s head thumped against the wall. He said hoarsely, “I don’t know.”

“Would it help if I hugged you right now?”

In lieu of answering Keith launched himself into Matt’s arms. For several moments they just held each other. Keith felt safer here, standing in his dark bedroom, wrapped up in Matt’s arms, than he had in months.

Matt’s warm skin felt so wonderful on his cheek that Keith impulsively grabbed his face and crashed their mouths together.

The rebel in his arms rolled with it, didn’t miss a beat, and kissed him back. Hot, forceful, their bodies pressed together, Keith thanked God he’d apparently read the signs right. Their armor clashed and scraped so they got to work removing each piece of armor and then clothing, stubbornly refusing to break the kiss whenever possible.

Keith impatiently dragged Matt to his bed.

* * *

 

Lance _hated_ insomnia with a burning passion. He hated being dead tired but wide awake because of all the thoughts spinning around his head. He hated that he couldn’t control those thoughts, couldn't make them shut up long enough to get to sleep. And Keith kept making some indiscernible racket next door. Some ninja.

So he paced the castle hallways, trying to let music drown out his thoughts. But no matter what he played, it only made his brain seem even louder. He finally sighed, put the headphones around his neck, and listened to the little building noises that even magic alien castles seemed to make.

Yesterday (earlier today?) Allura and the other Coalition leaders agreed that no one outside that room could know about what happened to Shiro.

Lance was shocked but relieved that the man who’d been cold and harsh wasn’t Shiro, on the one hand. He _knew_ something wasn’t right. On the other hand, there were so many problems now. Was Shiro alive? Could they ever find him? Who would fly the Black Lion? Was Keith ready to lead Voltron again? Being the Black Paladin had nearly drained Keith dry. Lance had been hurt but not shocked when he ran away to do some Assassin’s Creed soul-searching. Keith became a good leader, honest – but it cost him big time, hurtling towards a burnout, and he’d leaned heavily on Lance to stay upright. So not only was he worried about Voltron _and_ Keith, but he suddenly missed Shiro all over again like a baseball to the stomach.

The best part? This was all dumped on Lance while he was _already having a crisis._ Could the war just not throw another curveball at him until he fixed his personal problems, please?

Of all things, the source of his internal world-spinning was Pidge. And the sudden, confusing crash of _feelings_ he had surrounding her.

It’s not like anything changed in the last…what the heck, only the last two days? It felt like a week. All he knew was that he couldn’t breathe seeing Pidge beat up and pale and unconscious, and this morning the weight of the entire universe had fallen off his chest when she’d stumbled out of the healing pod and into his arms. He knew his heart freaked out when she’d hugged him back, and he knew that it freaked out even worse when she’d pushed him away.

In the storm of worrying and anxiety about Shiro and Keith and the whole damn universe, Pidge kept entering his thoughts: the warmth that filled his chest whenever she laughed, her face lighting up when she dissected a new piece of tech, and the bone deep fear of losing her. For the few minutes when he didn’t know if she were alive or dead, Lance had felt everything around him crumble because a universe without Pidge…was unthinkable.

The universe followed certain rules, Lance knew. Objects fell towards bigger objects, light bounced off of mirrors, sisters were annoying, and Pidge stayed alive.

Lance had taken that for granted. He’d known but never noticed how beautiful, clever, and impressive Pidge was until she’d almost –

Lance knew that he was incredibly stupid to only just now be realizing all this. He also knew that yesterday was the first time he’d been able to talk to Allura again, but she still made his gut tie itself up in knots.

Was it too much to ask to only have one girl problem at a time? Especially when said girls were BOTH unattainable? Now was not the time to get another crush!

Rubbing his eyes with a groan, Lance passed his room to make another circuit, maybe get something to drink. Or visit the cow.

He vaguely registered the swish of a door opening, but his name in Matt’s voice startled him. Just for the record, Lance did NOT scream, or jump, or flail, or press a hand to his heart. He could deal with surprise like a man.

Okay, he flailed a _little_.

Matt regarded him with a raised eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

No! “I’m fine. Just can’t sleep.” Lance scratched the back of his head and looked away, like if he made eye contact Matt would know exactly who he was thinking about and why. He realized exactly which door he’d just walked out of. “Were you in Keith’s room?”

“Maybe,” Matt said, sounding entirely too cocky. Lance looked back at him to see his cheeks were pink, but behind his coy and friendly smile his expression was completely shuttered. If there was anything Lance knew it was hiding behind a smile.

But what was with that smug…?

“Oh, oh! Oh gross, I’m never getting that image out of my head, thanks,” Lance grumbled. He made a point to rub at his eyes like he could erase it that way.

Matt said suddenly, “Are those my sister’s headphones?”

“Uh, yeah? She’s the only one who brought anything from Earth, so.” Lance shrugged.

“Pidge lets you borrow her stuff?”

“Maybe.”

Instant regret.

If his siblings were here they’d be smacking him upside the head and demanding to know if he had a death wish.

Matt’s expression morphed from disbelief to something completely unreadable. Lance scrambled back to his room as fast as his slippers allowed with a hasty “goodnight” over his shoulder.

* * *

Pidge recognized her brother’s footsteps. Even two years in space didn’t change his gait. She didn’t look away from the data on Shiro – _the clone’s_ nervous system littering the screen in front of her.

“You should be sleeping.”

Huh? Pidge checked the time. The night cycle had started vargas ago. “I would’ve been awake thinking about this anyway. At least now I’m sleep-deprived and productive.”

She felt Matt look over her shoulder at large data pad in her lap. “How is he?”

“Not Shiro.”

Matt slumped down onto the floor next to her. “I guess this means I really haven’t seen him since the gladiator ring.”

Pidge didn’t know what to say. She’d rarely been in a position to comfort her brother before, not when he was the better part of a decade older. He wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his chin on his knees while he stared at the clone in cryogenic stasis. His hair was rumpled and he wore ragged sleep clothes with his boots.

“He saved my life.” Matt saved her from having to speak. “I guess I owe him for that. Before, when he was really here, was he okay?”

Pidge shut off the pad. “Not exactly? He’d been an enslaved cage fighter for a year and lost his arm and his hair was turning gray…” Matt gave her a _look_. Half exasperated, half amused. Pidge tapped her fingers. “He was good. Strong. He was like a… surrogate big brother. I think we all would’ve lost our minds without Shiro.”

Matt laughed to himself softly. “He was great for morale on the Kerberos mission.”

Pidge waited for him to keep talking but was met only with several minutes of silence. She looked at him to see shiny tear tracks on his face. Alarmed, Pidge climbed into her big brother’s lap and hugged him. He cried quietly into her shoulder, his back shaking, letting out ragged little gasps. He clutched her like a lifeline.

* * *

The bed was cold. The door hissed open. Keith rolled over and Matt climbed back under the covers with him. The coiled hardness in Keith’s chest loosened when, in the dim light, he saw Matt’s eyes were bloodshot. The latter dropped a kiss on his temple. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Keith touched Matt’s jawline gently and tried to say something. Before he could find the words or his voice, Matt pressed forward so Keith’s face was buried in his chest and he had strong arms around his waist. Their legs tangled together.

The warmth and pressure lulled Keith back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Matt had known about the clone thing, I have no doubt he'd have been affected - a lot. His grief deserves attention.


	9. Tell Me it's Not for Nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will finish this fic if it kills me...

The next morning Keith woke up from the deepest sleep he’d had in years. Light breath purred against his neck. Matt’s arm draped over his side and they lay pressed together back-to-chest. He was loathe to leave the warm bed, or disturb Matt, but Keith had things to do. He’d indulged in this comfort long enough.

He carefully extricated himself from the blankets, slipping out of Matt’s hold and into the cool ship air. He gathered his space suit and armor from the floor and started getting dressed.

Keith was strapping his blade to his belt when Matt stirred. He sat up and stretched. Keith indulgently took in his lithe, muscular torso and toned shoulders. It felt so good to be explicitly allowed to look. Especially with the memory of all that smooth skin under his hands. Matt grinned sleepily. “Hey.”

“Morning. You should get ready. It’s probably gonna be a long day.”

“So romantic.”

Keith’s face burned. He mentally scrambled for a response.

“Sorry, I’m just kidding.” Matt got up and gave Keith’s temple a gentle kiss before pulling on his pants.

Keith relaxed, relieved. Words returned to him. “I’m going to the dining hall. You should stay and eat breakfast here. I know Pidge’ll be happy to see you, too.” He made to leave.

“Wait, Keith.”

He stopped and turned back.

“Um.” Seeing Matthew Holt look uncertain was so bizarre. He kept looking from the floor to the ceiling and back to the floor.

Keith waited.

“Last night, I ran into Lance in the hallway. Is…should…you’ve known him for a while now. What kind of guy is he?”

 _Uh. Out of left fucking field._ But then again, most questions came across to Keith that way. “In summary, he’s a dependable idiot.”

“What do you mean by idiot?”

“He pretends to be an asshole. It’s distracting when he flirts with girls on missions.”

“Has he ever flirted with Pidge?”

He thought for a second. “I don’t think so. Matt, if you’re worried about Lance playing Pidge or something, don’t. They’re close. He wouldn’t do that.” He hesitated, then, trying to be comforting, took Matt’s hand and squeezed it.

Matt’s eyes focused on him. He leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips, lingering a moment. “Thanks, Keith.”

Keith couldn’t understand why a simple kiss like that flustered him so much when they’d had sex just last night. He swallowed. “See you at breakfast.”

Out in the hallway he saw Lance in his street clothes standing in front of Pidge’s room. He didn’t do anything, just stared at the door with his hands deep in his pockets.

“What are you doing?”

Lance jumped. “Umnothingjust – ”

“Okay, wrong question. Why are you standing outside Pidge’s room instead of knocking like a normal person?”

“Are you really telling me what _normal_ people do?” He glared at Keith, but there was no real heat in his voice. He started walking in the direction of the dining hall. “Whatever. I just…we’re dealing with so much stuff today and I don’t know if she’s still asleep and she’d rip my face off if I woke her up, so excuse me for being a _tiny_ bit afraid of knocking.”

Keith fell into step with him. “Don’t worry about it. Coran will get Pidge out of bed.”

“Why are we still talking about Pidge?”

“Why are _you_ talking about Pidge?”

“Because you are!”

“I’m not the one waiting outside her bedroom first thing in the morning.”

“You – !” All the blood rushed to Lance’s face and he huffed like an agitated dragon. Keith had almost forgotten how fun it was riling him up. And familiar. He couldn’t resist poking further.

“Did you need to tell her something in private? Something secret?”

“I CANNOT believe I actually missed you, you jerk!” Lance stormed off ahead.

 _You did?_ Keith thought.

That was weird hearing so directly from Lance. He knew Pidge and Hunk did, and obviously Shiro –

His fists clenched. Shiro wasn’t here. He hadn’t been for a long time. Keith physically restrained himself from punching something.

He never did see Pidge that morning. She wasn’t at breakfast, and she wasn’t at the tactical meeting with Emperor Lotor either. Coran and Lotor and the other paladins were on the bridge when he followed Matt inside, star maps projected through the air, but no sign of their smartest teammate. And he wasn’t the only one who noticed.

“Where’s Pidge?” Hunk asked.

“Sequestered in my rooms with the mice,” Allura said. “She is running analyses on data she gathered from the clone. She came to tell me earlier and I decided not to interrupt her progress.”

“Speaking of which. How the _hell_ did a galra spy get on board the Castle?” Lance demanded.

Keith avoided eye contact when he replied. “I don’t get it. The Black Lion took me to him. She recognized him as Shiro.”

“Yeah. Can’t the Lions, like, see inside our souls?” Hunk asked. “Unless you can make an exact copy of somebody’s brain it doesn’t make sense. Wait, is that possible?”

“It’s irrelevant,” Allura said. “The Lions bond with our quintessence. The very fundamental energies of our lives.”

“So how do you copy quintessence?”

“You cannot. Not even the Druids are capable of such magic.” Lotor looked thoughtful. “Shiro spent time as a prisoner of the empire, yes? Fighting for entertainment?”

“What’s your point?” Matt said.

“He has a cyborg prosthetic arm, work of the Druids no doubt. Which means they must possess the original arm. It's probable they extracted its quintessence and grew it in the clone.”

Lance made a disgusted noise. “How do you do that with a dead arm?!”

“Keeping the tissue alive is a simple matter for Haggar, Red Paladin.”

“It is revolting. But more than possible,” Allura agreed.

“But that’s still just speculation,” Matt said. “We _know_ there’s been a spy inside Voltron. It doesn’t matter how if we don’t know _why_. What specifically does she want out of all this? Why hasn’t she used more insider information?”

“It’d be invaluable to know, Matt. But on that we also have nothing but speculation. What do you think, Lotor?” Allura asked.

He frowned. “I agree that the witch’s plan is of the utmost importance; however, I would remind you, Princess: it must not compromise our efforts to stabilize the rest of the galra,” Lotor said.

Lance half-raised his hand. “Correct me if I’m wrong here, but isn’t that plan in danger as long as we don’t know what Haggar is up to?”

“So we’ll multitask.” Allura sighed. “It is risky, I know. But concentrating our efforts solely on the rogue galra or the Druids would allow the other threat to grow unchecked. We must do our best to tackle both problems at once. I would still like your assistance with the rogues and quintessence, Hunk.”

“Yeah, of course. I’ve been studying Honerva’s science log and I’ve got some ideas.”

“In the meantime,” said Lance, “I’m gonna question Ezor. See what she has to say for herself.”

Keith snorted. Something about Lance leading an interrogation struck him as funny. “What are you going to do – annoy her into talking?”

“Ha, ha, laugh it up Mullet, you’re coming down there with me.”

“Of course I am! She could tell us where Shiro is.” Keith realized as the echo died around him that he'd shouted.

Lance gripped his shoulder. “We’ll get answers this time, Keith. I promise.”

Matt pitched in,“Pidge told me last night she’s making something that can help with that.”

Lance let go and took a step away from them. He said, “That sounds scary. Should I be scared?”

Matt fixed him with a _look_. One that Keith wasn’t familiar with. “Should you?”

Swallowing visibly, Lance replied, “Of Pidge or anything she makes? As a rule, terrified.”

Matt seemed to like that answer. Keith felt some kind of subtext between the two that definitely went over his head.

* * *

Lance wondered how many half galra they were going to have behind this glass. They were at two, now. One more and it’s a pattern.

Matt followed them down, making Lance feel tense.  His face was as closed-off as it had been last night, except this time without the joking mask. Now his expression was straight-up stone. But hopefully having his new boyfriend around would help Keith keep from going off like an IED.

Keith on the other hand had his arms crossed. Pretty standard Keith stuff.

Ezor was laying on the floor with her feet propped against the wall. Her soles smushed against the glass, smearing traces of dirt on it.

Keith hit the big intercom button. “Time to talk.”

The galra swung her feet down and sat up to look at them. “Ooooh, the underlings grace me with their presence. Where’s Mr. Bitch Slap and Miss Queen of the Universe?”

Lance stepped closer to the glass and tried to look confident. “Sorry. You won’t be seeing the princess any time soon, let alone get your hands on her.”

Ezor cocked her head. “Whelp, sucks for me, because that sort of impedes me doing my job.”

“Okay. You’re fired.”

“Lucky me.”

“Look, we don’t care about you. We want to know where Haggar is.”

“What’s in it for me?” She asked lazily, leaning back on her hands.

“We don’t kill you,” Keith growled.

Ezor shrugged. “Eh. That sounds about right. Haggar’s probably with Sendak, pulling his little puppet strings.”

“That would mean she’s dead. Which we know isn’t true.” Matt sounded just the tiniest bit proud despite performing his best imitation of an ice statue.

“Huh. Then I don’t know.”

“Hey Lance, I’m smelling a giant pile of horse shit,” Matt said, turning to face him. 

Lance bit back a snicker. “It’s really stinking up the place. Think we should eject it?”

“Can’t smell it if it’s in space.”

“Rude.” Ezor protested.

“Then make yourself useful, and quick.”

She huffed. “I don’t have a tracker on the woman, _I don’t know where she is_.”

“But you’re working for her. You and the other generals,” Lance said.

“Look, we’re just trying to survive by now, okay? Lotor went bozo – years of dedicated service all to become universal outcasts. Most people would do anything to avoid execution and I’m no exception. But I must say, this is the nicest cell I’ve been in so far.”

“You’re a mercenary.”

“And dodging the question.” Matt narrowed his eyes. “If you want to stay alive, then tell us what you know about Haggar’s plan. What’s she after?”

“Oh that’s easy: take down Voltron. You’re really slow around here.”

“From the inside. Nice try, but no cigar," Lance snarked.

Keith whispered. “I don’t think she smokes.”

“Are you kidding me right now?” he whispered back.

“Oh good job! You found the little project she planted.” Ezor’s tone was more condescending than all Lance’s most hateful middle school teachers combined. “Guess you do have two neurons to rub together if you weeded out the spy.”

“What has she done with Shiro?” Keith demanded.

“The original? That one’s probably dead.”

The words hit Lance like falling hail. He waited for Keith to blow up at her. When nothing happened, he glanced to his left to see Matt squeezing Keith from behind in a tight hug. Keith’s eyes slid shut and his breathing evened out.

Matt looked at the general evenly. “You’re lying. You were on the ground, alone. You had to have set up a rendezvous point.”

Lance swallowed back the ice in his throat. “Yeah! Where were you gonna go after killing Allura?”

All three of them jumped at what happened next: Ezor fell onto the floor and started cackling. She laughed so loud she clearly couldn’t breathe. Her red face turned magenta.

“What the fuck is so funny?” Keith said.

“She – does _not_ – want the pri – princess _dead_ , you primitive worms. My – ” she took a moment to regain her composure. “My orders were to _kidnap_ the princess.”

“ _Then where was the rendezvous point?!_ ”

She smirked. “Right at the border of the Patrulian Zone. You can chase her there if you want, but if you go there you’ll definitely die.”

 _Patrulian Zone…Patrulian Zone…Quiznak,_ why _did that sound so familiar?_

Matt frowned. “She’s right. No one uses any route through that section of space anymore. Too many ships have gone missing.”

It suddenly hit Lance. If an actual light bulb had manifested itself above his head _just_ to go off at that moment, he’d totally believe it. “HOLY CROW!”

He sprinted towards the elevator and shouted over his shoulder, “Keep questioning, I’ve got to tell Allura!” He ran to the bridge, which was empty, then searched the Castle at top speed until he arrived at the princess’s bed chambers. He swallowed back the awkwardness about approaching her in her private space. He knocked on the doors.

“Allura? It’s Lance, I’ve got important news!”

Her voice came muffled from inside. “Come in, Lance.”

He opened the door and skidded inside. “We were just interrogating Ezor and she – oh!” He froze. “Um, h-hey Pidge!”

Pidge sat cross-legged on the giant bed with Allura. She was wearing her shorts and windbreaker, and her feet were bare. Her glasses reflected the glow coming from her laptop, which was connected to some weird circular gizmo. All the mice had perched on her head and shoulders to weave tiny braids in her hair. Flames licked up Lance’s face and he quickly looked away to avoid staring. Allura cocked one eyebrow at him from her perch on the bed, and Hunk (whom at first he hadn’t noticed sprawled out on the floor with his ancient holographic science notebook) pointedly looked between Lance and Pidge, only fueling his embarrassment.

“You’re already interrogating her?” Pidge sounded oddly disappointed.

“…Yes?” he replied uncertainly.

She tapped at the gadget plugged into her computer. “Never mind. You were saying?”

“Right, uh. Ezor told us she was trying to kidnap you, Allura, not kill you. We just assumed it was an assassination. Haggar’s orders were to bring you to her at the entrance to Oriande.”

Everyone’s eyes widened. Pidge turned to Allura. “Do you think she could get in?”

The princess shrugged, brows furrowed. “Possibly. She’s technically an Altean with magical gifts. But what she could do with me I don’t know.”

“Maybe she was gonna cut off your arm and seduce you to the dark side.” The stupid joke left his mouth before Lance could stop it. He clapped his hands over his mouth, embarrassed, and heard an agonized groan from Hunk and a cute giggle-snort from Pidge. She bit her fist, plainly trying to hold in her laughter. Lance smiled behind his fingers

“ _Seduce?_ I hardly think so!” Allura’s scandalized yelp drew back his attention.

“You see what happens when you say stuff like that?” Hunk said. Lance shot him a glare.

Pidge took several deep breaths, to calm down. It obviously only worked like three-quarters of the way. “It’s a reference to a classic Americ – Earth movie. He means maybe Haggar wants to convert you to her cause, so you can be evil Altean alchemists together.”

Allura wrinkled her nose. “Perhaps. I suppose she only knew where to go because of the clone.” Lance nodded. “Haggar’s lust for power is dangerous. If she gains such mastery of quintessence then she could destroy the economic balance we’re trying to achieve and wreak disaster upon every living thing in the universe.”

Hunk’s eyes had gone so comically wide Lance was amazed they didn’t fall out of his skull. “Are you KIDDING ME? Zarkon is dead and now we have to deal with THIS? You guys _do not_ sound scared enough! How do we stop her? PIDGE?”

“Hunk, lower your voice,” Allura admonished, “you’re scaring the mice.”

Pidge typed away at her computer. “I’ve been analyzing the clone’s galra arm. If we get close enough I might be able to track down Haggar, and since we have a good guess where she’s been…”

“…We could get in range and bring the fight to her. Pidge, you are brilliant!”

Pidge smirked at Allura. “I know.”

Lance’s stomach fluttered – then growled. The conversation was veering where his usefulness vanished anyway, so he made to leave the geniuses to do their thing. Hunk was already talking magical defenses with Allura. “I’m gonna go eat something and get back down to the cell.”

“Wait, I’ll come with you.” Pidge gathered her stuff and jumped clumsily off the bed. She looked and sounded a lot more manic than usual. “You wanna see something stupid?”

“If you hold up a mirror in front of my face, you’re dead to me.”

“Ugh. Opportunity _missed_. Come on, I just have to get something.” She grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the room. He caught sight of Hunk and Allura looking meaningfully at each other, Allura outright giggling.

Pidge led him through the corridors and to the Green Lion’s hangar. Her work station was a mess. When she let go of his wrist, his skin tingled where she’d touched him.

“How do you find anything on here?” Lance asked, poking at something that looked suspiciously like a mechanical spider.

She batted his hand away. “It helps when nobody moves my stuff.” She handed him an alien bullhorn. Then she covered the opening with some kind of circular fan-looking thing - the one she'd had hooked up to her laptop earlier. It didn’t really look like a fan, but it was the closest comparison Lance could come up with. Pidge pressed the center button, making the outer ring (which she spun a few times like a dial) light up blue. “Okay, say something to me.”

“Is this the thing I heard you were making for interrogating reasons?”

“Lance, just use it like a normal bullhorn and _say_ something.”

He was so torn between annoyance and affection. He was trying so very hard to be annoyed at her – she hauled him around the castle, she kept him up half the night (fine, the Pidge in his head kept him up half the night – technicalities). But despite the obvious bags under her bloodshot eyes, Pidge’s face was lit up like a Christmas tree and she was bouncing in excitement.

So Lance tested out her little invention: “I thought this was gonna be something stupid.” But the words came out in the high pitched, pebbly monotone of an old robot. His eyes widened. He started making little jerky robot movements. “Holy crow Pidge, I’ll never doubt you again.”

She giggled, her face flushing a bit. Probably sleep deprivation. “The dial on the outside changes the voice filters.”

He examined the gadget. “What’s ‘PW’?”

“Patrick Warburton.” Lance looked at her blankly. “The actor? 20, 21st century? One of the most iconic voices in history!”

Lance chuckled. “Since when were you a movie nerd?”

“My mom is. They made some weird-ass cartoons back then. Just try it, Lance.”

He spun the dial to “PW” and said the first thing that came to mind. “Did you sleep at all last night? Whooooaaaa-ho-ho-hooooaa. This is the smoothest, sexiest voice in the history of everything.” He playfully struck a pose. “Hey, girl. Cassanova’s here.”

Pidge laughed so hard she doubled over, hands on her knees, and visibly gasped for breath. Her cheeks turned a striking shade of pink. Lance’s heart break-danced proudly in his chest and he couldn’t have stopped his own grin if he’d tried.

“That was _ridiculous_.” Pidge’s laughter died out when she tried - and failed - to bite back a yawn. “The other settings are silly but I had to include that one.”

He put down the bullhorn on her warzone of a work table. “It is amazing. Total show-stopper. Is it useful? Or was this, like, stress-relief?”

Pidge took back the gizmo and started fiddling with it. She turned back to her work table, her back facing Lance. “We can attach it to any speaker in the Castle. _Any_ of them. I figured we could hook it up to the containment cell and questioning Ezor will be so much funnier now.”

Lance giggled just thinking about it. “We’re not done interrogating her, you know. We can still use it.”

She turned her head, smiled at him, and continued, “I just figured, you know. Anything to lighten the mood around here. Make things easier for everybody. Yesterday sucked.”

 _Madre de Dios._ That was unexpectedly sweet. In a rough, awkward, Pidge-kind-of way. He wondered how Pidge was dealing with the whole clone Shiro thing. Like, emotionally. She did look a little crazy today.

He frowned when she let loose another huge yawn. “Seriously, how much have you slept?”

She tried to glare at him through her drooping eyes. Valiant try, but dice. He gently tugged her out of the hangar and in the direction of the dining hall. “Enough. I just need some caffeine.”

“Not the same thing as beauty sleep, Pidge.”

“Who cares if I’m beautiful?”

 _Definitely ignoring_ that _question_. “Fine. Big-brain sleep, then.”

“Coffee.”

He rolled his eyes and they walked in silence.

Completely out of the blue, Pidge muttered, “…reminds me of peanut butter.”

“Huh?”

“Patrick Warburton’s voice. It tastes like peanut butter.”

“You can taste _sound?_ ”

“Yeah, sort of. It’s called synesthesia. My senses get a little crossed so my brain makes some weird and powerful associations. Green’s purring is like sparkling lemonade. Hunk’s voice is like cinnamon rolls.” Her eyes stared out into nothing, big and unfocused, like she only could pay attention to what she was saying.

Lance hesitated, wondering if he really wanted to know. “What does my voice taste like?” He immediately cringed. _Nice going, McClain. She’s gonna think you’re so –_

“Um, apples and cream cheese.” Her answer came quickly.

Lance’s thoughts skidded to a stop and he stared at her.

“What? Is it weird?”

“…That’s extremely specific, Pidge.”

She shrugged. She looked at him from the corner of her eye with a mischievous spark. “Be glad yours is positive, like Hunk’s. But Lotor's is black licorice.”

Lance barked out a surprised laugh. “Have I ever told you I love your brain?”

_P A N I C._

_Pull the fire alarm! Make a run for it! Stop, drop, and roll! Find the emergency exits and pray you don’t die!_

Pidge stopped in her tracks and looked at him for a long moment. The sirens blaring in his head steadily quieted. Amber eyes anchored him to the spot, and he couldn’t look away, couldn’t even blink, they were so entrancing. He noticed there were faint stripes of chocolatey brown around the edges of her irises. She looked at him like he was encrypted computer code and she needed to solve him.

Which was weird, honestly. Lance sure as hell isn’t encrypted. His papi always called him an open book.

Finally Pidge quirked one side of her mouth up in a soft smirk. Lance didn’t even know a smirk could be soft. “You could stand to say it more frequently.”

Flames licked up Lance’s cheeks. Yeah, he couldn’t handle any more of this. He slung an arm around her and steered her into the kitchen, keeping her propped up against his side. Lance heated up some of that weird fruit coffee Hunk made for Pidge while she hoisted herself onto the counter. When he handed her the space mug, he noticed that Pidge was a little above eye level with him with her sitting up so high. Her bare feet swung and tapped the cupboards below. She took a sip with her eyes never leaving his face. It was like staring into a spotlight.

“Stop giving me that look.”

“What look?”

“ _That_ look. The one on your face.”

Pidge just grinned and raised an eyebrow at him. Lance busied himself with finding what passed for nutritious food around here. If she wouldn’t sleep, he’d at least get some protein into her. And himself, holy quiznak he was hungry. She was still staring at him when he looked up.

Desperate not to spontaneously combust under that gaze, he blurted the first distraction that sprung to mind. “Last night I saw Matt leaving Keith’s room!”

She choked on her drink. “Leaving like they’d just finished a late-night conversation or…”

“Well. I heard some stuff through the wall last night that definitely wasn’t talking. More like moaning.”

“UGH, Lance! What the fuck!”

“Pretty sure that’s what Keith was doing to – ”

“Finish that sentence and I will destroy all your skin care stuff.” She rubbed her forehead. “ _Why_ would you say that to me? Now I’ve got that mental image of my brother and…gah.”

Was that his brightest decision? Yeah, probably not. Lance knew more than well enough how gross hearing about your sibling’s sex life can be, even just mentioning its existence. But desperate times called for desperate measures and she’d finally stopped scrutinizing him. He could breathe normally again.

He ended up shoving a bowl of food goo into Pidge’s hands (what? He could barely cook _Earth_ food) and hopping onto the kitchen island across from her with his own bowl of Jell-O-y green weirdness. They ate in silence for a while.

Eventually Pidge spoke up, looking into her bowl and using her spoon to play with the goo. Avoiding his eyes. “Actually, I’m kinda worried about Keith.”

“Why? Is your brother a heart-breaker?”

“I’m _serious_ , Lance.” She sent him a brief glare then looked away again. “Keith fell apart last time Shiro disappeared. What’s he gonna do now that he’s lost him twice?”

“Three times.”

“What?” she asked distractedly.

“Keith lost Shiro three times. Kerberos first.”

“Oh. Right.” Pidge stabbed her food. Lance looked carefully at her face. Her eyes, kept stubbornly wide open, were shining with unshed tears.

Lance had already cried himself dry yesterday. “Keith’s gonna be okay. We’re all gonna be okay. I swear Shiro’s still alive.”

She looked up at him. “Did Ezor tell you that?”

“No, she said he was probably dead. But he _has_ to be alive! I know it, I could feel it. Remember? In the void thing? That had to be him.”

“I hope you’re right, Lance.” She set her bowl down, got down off the counter, then hopped up onto the island, sitting next to him. She smelled oddly like berries and tea.

“Pidge…” he started slowly. “Why didn’t you sleep last night?”

He could see her struggling with her answer. She was so close that he felt her body heat on his arm. _I guess it makes sense a girl’s gonna be the death of me._

“I couldn’t sleep.” The words sounded rough and quiet. “So I went to the med bay to study the clone. Lance, every cell, every gene sequence, every piece of circuitry, even the scars matched perfectly with our scans of Shiro’s physiology. I kept thinking if I could find the differences then I could figure out how he was being controlled. But it looks _exactly like him_.”

Her head fell on his shoulder and she squeezed her eyes tight. The soft impact dislodged her glasses. Lance carefully took them off her face and set them aside (and tried to ignore his heartbeat insisting that this was a crisis). He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she curled into him.

“I kept thinking what if he _was_ the real Shiro? What if I was wrong? What if he’d actually been corrupted somehow? I did sleep, for like five minutes. I just dreamed about shooting him, over and over and over again. So I got out of bed and built a voice-altering gadget. Hold me a little tighter, please?”

He did. “Pidge, why did you shoot him? What made you so sure?”

“It’ll sound weird.”

“You have floating fluffy caterpillars for pets and I found you on the roof scanning the solar system for aliens, and you’re worried about weird _now_?”

She laughed and it made his heart a little lighter. “I looked him in the eyes and it was painful. Like when someone shines a flashlight in your eyes. You should’ve seen his expression when he attacked you, Lance. It was feral.”

“You wanna know what’s messed up? When you said it wasn’t Shiro, when Lotor said it was a clone, I was relieved. I didn’t wanna think Shiro would yell at me like that.”

She mumbled into his shirt, “Never. Shiro would never say all that bullshit. I guess it all makes sense now.” Pidge gasped and so suddenly Lance swore he got whiplash she jumped out of his arms and onto the floor, leaving the right side of his body feeling cold. Her eyes went manic again.

“Lance! If that was Shiro, _really Shiro_ talking to us in the Voltron mindscape then we can talk to him _through Voltron!_ ”

The solution was so painfully obvious he couldn’t believe they’d overlooked it until now. “He’s connected to the Black Lion, who’s connected to the other Lions – Pidge we have to try this right now! We need to get in our Lions and talk to Shiro!”

“We need find Allura and Hunk and get Keith!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all didn't think I was kidding about my complete and utter lack of consistency when it comes to chapter length.


	10. Don't You Dare Break Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author stubbornly tries to keep the fic title relevant.  
> It might not be relevant, but I have a headcanon that Green, Blue, Red, and Black are female and Yellow is male.

Pidge and Lance found Allura and Hunk in the hallway outside the construction hangar that held the sincline ships they were working on with Lotor, and excitedly shared their idea, that they could connect with Shiro’s spirit through Voltron because he was still bonded to Black.

Allura was firmly unconvinced. The mood in the room soured immediately and Lance started getting on the defensive. It quickly devolved into an argument between them. The sudden change nearly gave Pidge whiplash, and she and Hunk could only look on in horrified fascination while the blue and red paladins got progressively louder and redder in the face.

“Allura, don’t you remember when we were trapped in that huge root ball and we all went into that void thingy? Shiro was there, with us! The real Shiro is alive and he’s out there!”

“If the clone could pilot the Black Lion, then there’s no reason to believe he couldn’t connect to Voltron the same way,” Allura replied firmly.

“But the clone doesn’t remember any of it! And when we were all connected like that, that was the first time it felt like Shiro in phoebes. I know it was him.”

“Do you have anything to base this off other than a feeling Lance?”

“He was talking to me.”

“Let’s say you’re right, that Shiro is alive and we could talk to him. What then? We would’nt have time to do anything about it. We’re already en route to Oriande. Sacrificing any time or people is not an option when Haggar may already have learned the deepest secrets of Altean alchemy.”

“But we’re missing a _Black paladin_. What good will Voltron be against an immortal crazy witch if we can’t form Voltron?”

“We’ve been through this before! Keith searched for movements and couldn’t find any trace of Shiro. We have to accept now that he’s…gone. And it’s terrible. But this time around we still have five paladins.”

“You’re not seriously going to make Keith pilot Black again? Did you forget back when he ran off with his ninja buddies just to get away from that?”

“Of course not. He left behind another Black Paladin that time. You should be more confident that Keith will follow his sense of duty – and we cannot afford to lose more time when we can already form Voltron.”

“Afford to lo – this is Shiro, not some lost cause! He’s rescued you and all our butts more times than I can count. We need him.”

“Keith is more than capable – ”

“Trying to be the leader almost killed him, Allura!”

“Do not interrupt me, Lance!”

“I will not stand aside and let Keith get burned out for good this time! If you cared at all about him you wouldn’t force – ”

“Guys, knock it off.” Hunk pushed his way between them with his hands up like he was negotiating a ceasefire. “We need to table this discussion until Keith’s here to talk about it, too.”

Pidge had _never_ seen Lance and Allura fight like this. “We should remain on course for Oriande,” Allura said. “This time just close enough so Pidge can scan the area for any sign of Haggar, without the energy tear apart the Castle. It’s time we defeated her once and for all.”

Pidge was already thinking about the problems with engaging in battle so close to a white hole. Something pushed her to jump into the conversation. “Ask Lotor if he knows how big her fleet – wait wait wait!” She smacked Lance’s arm with the back of her hand. “Haggar replicated Shiro’s consciousness almost perfectly. There has to be clues on her ships about what happened to him. She might even have _him!_ ”

Hunk looked doubtful. “The druids have extensive data on Shiro’s physiology from his time in the gladiator pits. I bet anything that included all the brain scans in existence.”

“You don’t know that! So maybe Shiro’s not there but there still might be some indication about what really happened to him!”

“Allura, please. It’s at least worth a try.” Lance said.

Pidge looked between them. “If Shiro’s alive and we contact him, we could know for sure if we’ll find him when we reach Haggar.”

Allura looked at Lance for several seconds with a mask of royal composure on her face, and flicked her eyes to Pidge. It made Pidge fidget uncomfortably with the hems of her sleeves.

Finally the princess relented. “You’re right. Find Keith, please, we should need him as well.”

“On it.” Lance left.

Allura had the bridge of her nose pinched between her thumb and forefinger. ( _It was so weird Alteans had the exact same fingers as humans – sometimes the similarities legitimately scared Pidge_.) Hunk hesitated at the door, looking at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“You go on and work on the quintessence ships with Lotor, Hunk. I need a moment.”

He did so but didn’t look happy about it. Pidge stayed exactly where she was, while Allura sank onto the nearest chair with her head in her hands and sighed heavily.

Pidge debated with herself internally. Allura was clearly exhausted and frustrated – that was, like, Body Language 101 – and _maybe_ she needed to be left alone but maybe not? And Pidge wasn’t usually helpful in emotional situations. “What’s wrong? I mean, I know there’s everything and their mother going on right now, but is there something specific making you all…” she gestured awkwardly at Allura’s stance, “…morose?”

“I’m fine, Pidge.”

That’s a non-answer. “You don’t look fine. And back home, Matt used to make me talk about it when I was upset and it actually helped. So if you need to talk. I’m here.”

Allura stared into the middle distance. “Voltron needs to be united to win this war. All this squabbling puts us at serious risk.”

“I think we argue to figure out what’s the best choice. We’re still one team.”

“And what if those decisions aren’t the right ones? What if I’m dishonoring my people, my parents, by compromising instead of winning? What if we’re making too many sacrifices to broker peace?”

Pidge couldn’t wrap her mind around the agony the princess must feel about being one of two sole survivors of a genocide. “It makes sense that you feel alone. I know we’re not your family, but you’ve got all of us.”

Allura surprised Pidge by standing and pulling her into a hug. “You are my family, Pidge, all of you. Though I fear I’m losing Lance.” She said the last part so quietly Pidge would’ve missed it were she not talking right in her ear.

Pidge patted her on the shoulder then pulled away as gently as she could. “You don’t get rid of Lance. Once he likes you he latches onto you and it’s impossible to get him off. Believe me, I’ve tried.”

“Perhaps. But I broke his heart and he’s angry with me.”

 _Goddammit_. There were way too many feelings to keep track of now and it made Pidge uncomfortable. Not least because apparently some of them were _hers_. She chewed her tongue and thought carefully about her response.

Finally, she said, “You did the right thing. Falling in love with you made him miserable, and frankly, it was really annoying for the rest of us. You gave him permission to move on and he is.”

Allura grinned weakly but her eyes looked brighter. _Thank God._ “I hope so. And thank you, Pidge. I couldn’t ask for someone more like a sister.”

And that? That made all the uncomfortable awkwardness worth everything. Pidge smiled. “Let’s go find a magical solution to an economic disaster.”

* * *

 

When Lance got to the elevator, the door slid open and Matt tromped out. He had his arms crossed, hands balled into fists, and everything about him looked tense and just that much closer to snapping.

Good God, why were all the Holts so _scary?_ Sam wasn’t this frightening. Lance’s stomach contracted at the thought of meeting their mother – she’s gotta be a wildfire of a woman if she raised kids like this.

“What’s wrong?”

“I hate interrogations,” Matt grumbled.

“She get under your skin?” When he got no response, Lance cleared his throat and changed the subject, “Is Keith still down there? I need him for something.”

“I don’t know. He seemed pretty upset by what Ezor said about Shiro…Shiro being dead. He left to cool off.”

Lance narrowed his eyes. “Left as in ‘stomped off without an explanation?’”

“Yeah, so?”

A deep, long-suffering groan traveled from the dark recesses of Lance’s soul and out of his mouth like a sick Kaltenecker. Keith was going to make him tear his hair out one day and he’ll never forgive him for it.

“What?”

“He’s not _cooling_ off, he _ran_ off! He’s probably scouring the universe for Shiro right now!”

* * *

 

For Keith, the violet light and soft humming of the Black Lion’s cockpit felt like remembering his dad. A bitter familiarity of lost love lingering in his heart.

When the fuck had he become a poet?

He touched down in the hangar for the Blade of Marmora headquarters. A number of Blades congregated around Black as he disembarked, so it was easy to find a commander to fill him in on what he needed to know.

Keith paced the familiar trail to one of the main tactical chambers, pressed the door buzzer, and entered at the go-ahead. Both Kolivan and Krolia looked up from their work at him. Their faces were both unreadable.

“Kolivan, I need to talk to my mother alone, please.”

The old galra nodded in assent and exited unceremoniously, the door swishing shut behind him.

Krolia took a step closer to him then hesitated. Keith had infrequently known galra to act nervous, but she stood awkwardly like she didn’t know what to do next. She was rubbing her thumb over her closed fist at her side, something Keith did too when he was anxious. Seeing her in front of him felt so strange but so familiar. Like she was an old, half-forgotten dream.

“Keith.”

“How did you meet my dad?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because fuck jealousy.


	11. I'm Always on Your Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand, another chapter with lots of talking. Enjoy.

Krolia sat down and gestured for Keith to do the same. He couldn’t begin to decipher all the thoughts and emotions whirling around his head. They almost became white noise, leaving a strange, painful numbness. He tried to look Krolia in the eyes, but if human eye contact was difficult, it had nothing on the sharp and glowing gaze of a galra.

She folded her hands. “Twenty decaphoebes ago, I was under cover in a scouting team searching for the missing Voltron lions. We picked up a matching signature on Earth. I could not allow another Lion to fall into the hands of the Empire. The Red one had long since been found.”

Keith’s heart clenched. He hated thinking about Red’s time under Zarkon’s thumb. His beloved Lion had spent so many long years trapped, and it filled him with hand-trembling rage.

 _Lance’s Lion,_ he reminded himself firmly. He may have a lingering connection to Red, but he wasn’t her pilot anymore.

“So I attacked the other scouts, destroyed them, and crash landed onto the planet’s surface. As all Blades are, I was fully prepared to die for my mission. But instead I woke up in your father’s house,” Krolia’s voice quieted, “in pain but alive. He cared for me while I was at my weakest.”

She paused. Keith dared a glance back at her face to find her gaze was still firmly locked on his. He looked away again.

“It took a long while to trust him. But I sensed the fellow spirit of a warrior. He was kind and righteous and he vowed to protect the Blue Lion by my side, once we’d found her. I said I’d stay out of devotion to my mission. Truthfully, I stayed because I already loved him. A Blade’s life is lonely and hard. I believed I’d paid my dues and earned a peaceful life. And then we had you.”

Keith gritted his teeth. “But you left. If you were so done with the war then why did you leave?”

“Keith.” He looked up at her. “More scouts found the Blue Lion. They attacked and your father nearly died. As long as the Empire suspected a Lion of Voltron was on Earth, you both would have always been a target. I left to divert their attention from your solar system. I left to protect my family and the one I love most in the entire universe: you.

“The pain of being apart from you was second only to the thought of putting your life in danger.”

Keith unsheathed his knife. “Is that why you left me this? Did you know I’d find myself in the war? Or did you expect me to find you?”

“I knew,” she said softly, “if you grew to be anything like your father, you would be a fighter.”

“Dad died ten years ago.” The words rushed out of Keith like a dam breaking. “I was alone until Shiro found me and now I’ve lost him again! But I found you and now you’re the only family I’ve got left and I’m _so goddamn sick_ of being angry at you!” He’d accidentally yelled, his voice echoing in the room. Krolia moved her chair closer to where he was rocking back and forth in his and held out her hand. He grabbed it with both of his and started crying the moment her other hand clutched them. She let him cry and scream it out, all the tornado of everything he’d been through ripping from his throat. She stayed and held his hands as tightly as he gripped hers, anchoring him without pushing him.

Once his eyes had nothing left to shed, he calmed himself one shuddering gulp of air at a time. Keith wiped away the tears from his cheeks. He was surprised to find that he felt a little lighter, not unlike stepping onto a slightly less massive planet than Earth.

“I’d hoped, for so many decaphoebes,” Krolia said, voice low, “that I would see you again once you were old enough and strong enough. We can’t get that lost time back, but Keith.” She gripped his shoulder and the touch revived something warm and powerful in him. With a shock, Keith realized he felt safe with his mother. “I’m here now. And I know a warrior when I see one.”

The words made Keith feel strong. Like the day he’d first flown the Red Lion, a sensation of controlled power. He understood what had drawn his righteous and bullheaded dad to Krolia. Honestly, leave it to him to fall in love with an alien spy wielding a knife.

“Nothing was more important to Dad than saving lives. He was trying to drag two people out of a burning building when a gas line exploded under him.”

The day he’d died was the worst of Keith’s life. It began a pattern of losing the only family member he had. Dad, then Shiro. But Keith had been the one to walk away from Krolia, her words ringing in his ears, “ _I’ll never leave you again._ ”

“I left my team,” he said. “I need to go back to them.”

Kolivan chose that moment to stride back into the room. “Keith, Krolia. The Red Paladin has just arrived.”

* * *

 

_[several vargas earlier]_

“I knew it.”

Lance stood in his armor in the Black Lion’s hangar, where there was ­– _shocker_ – no Black Lion. He put on his helmet and commed Allura. “Princess, Keith ran away.”

There was a long pause before he heard “ _…quiznak._ ”

He did an about face and stalked past Matt, who was staring blankly at the empty hangar, and made a beeline for the Red Lion. “He took Black with him, so do you think you could magic-find the Black Lion like you did when we first showed up?”

“ _Yes,_ _I’m on my way to the bridge now. I can’t believe he did this._ ”

Because he was a mature adult, Lance bit his tongue against an _I told you so._ “As long as you can get me his location I’m gonna drag Keith back here by his ears.”

“ _Good._ ”

“Because you were right, we need everyone right now.” Red’s eyes lit up as Lance approached her and she smoothly leaned down to let him board. He settled into the pilot’s seat of the scarlet-bathed cockpit. “Hey. Uh. I’m really sorry for yelling earlier.”

Allura didn’t even pause with her response. “ _So am I. Give me a moment to find him._ ”

Lance was sure there was more that needed to be said between him and the princess, but they had to focus. He booted up the console, feeling the metal walls around him hum with power and magic. The viewscreen blinked to life and quickly enough he was ready to take off.

Except that Red refused to close her mouth.

“Girl, come on, we’ve gotta go get Keith.” She stubbornly kept her jaw to the floor. “What is your deal?”

Then he spotted a figure jogging toward him on the screen. Matt disappeared as he boarded then reappeared behind him. Red finally shut her maw and stood up with a self-satisfied rumble.

“What are you doing?” Lance demanded.

“I’m coming with you to get Keith. I’m worried about him, too, and besides, you might need backup.”

Lance wanted to argue, not least because spending a bunch of time alone in outer space with Pidge’s older brother made him kind of fear for his life. But both his Lion and Matt seemed to have their minds made up. In the back of his head, he felt Red anxiously growling and whipping her tail back and forth. She wanted to find her old paladin. Envy flashed through Lance and he grit his teeth against it.

The console lit up with a comm from Allura. “ _I found them. Keith went to the Blade of Marmora Headquarters._ ”

 _Huh?_ “So he’s not out looking for Shiro?” Lance puzzled as they launched out of the Castle and blazed through the atmosphere. He glanced at Matt, who was holding tight to the back of his chair to steady himself from the sudden momentum. He didn’t look surprised by the news.

“ _Apparently not. I want an explanation once you’ve brought him back. Allura out._ ”

Keeping his eyes on his flight path, Lance asked, “You know something about this?”

“Yeah,” Matt replied. “I think so.”

When he failed to elaborate, Lance sighed harshly through his nose. “Fine. Keep your secrets.”

“It’s not my secret, it’s Keith’s. And if he hasn’t told anyone else about it, I won’t do it for him.”

“No, I get it, some things stay between you and your boyfriend. Speaking of which, one of those things that stays private is _definitely_ bedroom stuff and my bunk is right next to Keith’s, so please for the love of God keep it down next time.” It was difficult to tell with the red light of the cockpit, but Lance noted with some satisfaction that Matt’s face looked unnaturally flushed.

It was a long, awkward flight, them sitting in silence. If he didn’t have piloting to concentrate on Lance would probably have broken out in nervous rambling a long time ago. They were coming close to the HQ and out of the corner of his eye Lance saw his passenger was messing with some gadget or whatever. He worked with the same unblinking, owl-eyed stare that Pidge did on her projects. It made Lance’s stomach twist uncomfortably. He hardly knew this guy outside the context of a battle or when Pidge talked about her brother like he’d hung the moon. Other than that…Matt had this outward appearance of being _perfect_ or something. He was a genius and, apparently, universally likable. He even got prickly Keith to open up.

Lance finally gathered his nerve and broke the silence. “By the way. I don’t want to know about the ins and outs of your relationship with Keith – _and I mean that literally, too_ – but he’s had super rough go in life and if you hurt him I’ll shoot you in the face.”

Matt immediately burst into laughter. Lance frowned. “Hey! Seriously, I’ll do it!”

“Oh, I believe you. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve known Keith for several years. I know what buttons not to push. This just isn’t the shovel talk I pictured us having.”

The back of Lance’s neck felt hot. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Really?”

“Look, me and Keith might fight a lot but that doesn’t mean I wanna find him someday angry and heartbroken and fighting the gladiator at level fifty.”

“I won’t break up with him,” Matt said tightly.

“Like, so far you seem pretty good to him, but I’m just saying – ”

“Is this what you meant by staying out of our relationship?” Matt demanded. He didn’t shout, but his tone was like icicles threatening to fall from the ceiling and skewer you to the ground. “I…I get that you care about Keith, and you and I don’t know each other.”

Lance snorted. “That’s an understatement.”

“Keith was right, you are annoying.”

“ _Please_ tell me I’m not a part of your pillow talk, ‘cause that’s just disturbing.”

Matt resolutely moved himself into Lance’s line of vision. His arms were crossed over his armored chest. “But, he told me you wouldn’t play with my sister’s feelings. And I’d prefer to trust his word.”

Every trace of sarcasm melted off Lance like an ice cube on the hood of a hot car. He stubbornly fixed his eyes on the stars flashing by them as he flew. “Yeah, well, you don’t have to worry about that. Pidge doesn’t have _feelings_ for me in the first place.”

“Oh.”

“She’s too…” Lance debated on the best word to explain how unfathomably out of his league Pidge is. “…special.”

Even just out of the corner of his eye, he saw Matt glaring at him. _Holy hell, what did I say to piss him off?_ The rebel pinched the bridge of his nose and took three deep breaths.

“Two things. First, no matter how unusual she might seem to you, Pidge is still a person who can feel the entire spectrum of human emotion. Quite powerfully, in fact. Second, you can shove that bullshit ‘special’ euphemism right up your ass, autism is not a cuss word.”

Lance jerked the controls in surprise, making Red jolt and list violently. She wrenched control from him and steadied herself, growling irritably. He stroked the console apologetically then turned wide-eyed to Matt. “Pidge is _autistic?_ ”

Matt kept glaring and raised one eyebrow, and he looked too much like Pidge right now and it was distracting. Still kind of reeling, enough of Lance’s brain calmed down to sift through what he’d said that was so offensive.

 _Oh._ He waved his hands between them in a time-out, clear-the-air kind of motion. “Dude, dude, dude, I did _not_ mean it like that. Pidge is _special._ Like one in a billion, way too smart and tough and pretty to look twice at a guy like me. And also – _Pidge is autistic?_ I mean, I kinda figured Keith is, he’s so awkward and confused all the time and you’ve seen his resting bitch face but Pidge – well, I guess that does explain the babbling and the sensory weirdness – _not that Pidge is weird –_ ”

“Lance, you’re rambling.” Matt rubbed the back of his neck, murderous expression thankfully gone. “I just thought you’d put two and two together. She’s…something. Truthfully, we don’t actually know for sure. My parents got her tested for autism and later ADHD but nobody would diagnose a smart girl who looked them in the eyes. I had to watch my little sister struggle in school with almost no friends and no help, so now that she has you guys, I’d rather none of you die or leave or hurt her in any way.”

He gave Lance a very pointed look. The dude apparently didn’t blink an eye at his fifteen (sixteen?) year old sister flying a giant war machine and killing bad guys, but the minute any kind of relationships got involved he went full mama bear. _Go figure_. Lance knew better than anyone that explosions hurt less than broken hearts. He spun his chair so he was facing the view screen instead of Matt.

“Don’t worry. Pidge is my friend, and I’ve always got her back. I wouldn’t do anything to mess that up.”

There was a pause. “You know I’m not, like, forbidding you from dating her, right?”

Lance huffed in frustration. “Doesn’t matter, it’s not a thing.”

“So you _don’t_ like her? When I ran into you the other night, it seemed – ”

“I do, it’s just – urgh!” Lance stood abruptly and paced to the back of the cockpit, leaving Red to autopilot for a while, and grabbing furiously at his hair. “It’s so confusing! I was just starting to get over Allura and then – then Pidge almost _died_ and – what the hell is wrong with me?”

“I’m not following.”

“There’s a word for suddenly getting feelings for another girl right after getting your heart broken, and I’m pretty freaking sure it’s REBOUND.” Lance slumped against the wall and dropped his head in his hands. “Pidge deserves better than that.”

Matt hummed thoughtfully. “You’re right. But what I’m hearing is that you respect her a lot.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m keeping my mouth shut about this BS.”

“So are you sure the feelings are new?”

Lance side-eyed him. “Have you been listening?”

“Yeah, yeah, the whole princess thing. I’m just saying, maybe you’ve had feelings for Pidge for a long time and you’re just now realizing it. It’s possible to like more than one girl at once, you know.”

The words struck a chord in Lance and it made his stomach turn over. _Loving two girls at once?_ Didn’t matter that he wasn’t dating either of them, the very possibility felt slimy. He jumped back to his feet and got in the chair. Sensing his distress, Red purred at him in his mind. “It doesn’t even matter, okay? Pidge doesn’t look at me like that and I won’t stop being her friend. End of discussion.”

He shrugged. “Okay. Fine.”

“I was serious though. Be good to Keith or I _will_ shoot you.”

* * *

Keith startled when the doors burst open and a very red-faced Lance stalked inside, Matt hot on his heels. Both Keith and Krolia stood up.

“What the hell, Keith? We thought you’d jetted off on a half-cocked rescue mission in the middle of empty space! The least you could do is tell somebody what you’re doing!”

“Lance, shut up, please,” Matt begged.

“ _You_ shut up!”

“Lance. Shut. Up.” Keith agreed. He got a long, brown finger too close to his face for his trouble.

“Keith, one of these days you’re going to give me a stroke.” With that said, Lance looked around, realized who else was there, stood up straight, and cleared his throat. “Oh, hi, Kolivan. Sorry for barging in like that. Did we interrupt something?”

“Not from my end,” the old galra said wryly.

Keith awkwardly cleared his throat and addressed Krolia. “The annoying one is Lance, the Red Paladin of Voltron. And this is Matt Holt.” Keith halted, not sure if he should announce their personal relationship. Probably not. “He’s a leader in the rebel forces.

“Guys, this is Krolia. She’s my mother.”

“Your _what?_ You’re his – ” Lance turned to Matt, mouth gaping open like a fish. “Did you know Keith found his galra mom?”

“Yes.”

“Lance,” Keith said, “I’m sorry for leaving without notice. I didn’t mean to worry you guys.”

Lance had his face buried in his hands. “Dude, you can’t just vanish then drop a bomb like your _galra mom_ popping up and then just move on. You are giving me gray hair. I’m too young for that.” He turned and walked off to lean his head against the wall. Krolia watched him with an eyebrow disappearing beneath her hair.

“He needs a minute,” Keith explained. “Lance’s brain can’t process more than one surprise each day.”

Matt snickered. Lance groaned a little and came back. “I’m sorry for intruding, Kolivan, but could the three of us stay here for the night?  We should get back to the Castle of Lions soon but it’s been a very long day.”

“Certainly. Have you made any progress with General Ezor?” Kolivan asked.

“Annoying progress, but yeah, she’s been talking. Apparently the assassination attempt wasn’t an assassination attempt, but Haggar wanted to kidnap Allura and that’s not even the bad news.

“The Princess and the _Emperor_ were searching for a place that’s like, the ultimate source of all Altean magic. Long story short, we found it in something called a white hole, Allura’s super powerful now, and we’re pretty sure Haggar found it too so the enemy just might be a thousand times more powerful than she was before.”

Lance paused to catch his breath. “Also, Pidge and I think she might still have Shiro. Alive.”

Keith clenched his fists against the small surge of hope that gave him. He felt Matt take one hand and gently smooth his thumb over his knuckles, until Keith relaxed and slotted their fingers together.

Kolivan said, “The Blade has been pursuing what we think may be a major source of the druids’ power. A place that holds extremely potent quintessence.”

Keith turned to his mother. “The same quintessence that made that superweapon?”

She nodded.

“Superweapon?” Lance demanded.

“Are we looking at another Naxzela type of situation?” Matt asked. Deep wrinkles formed between his eyebrows.

“Nothing to that scale. I know how this sounds, but it _can_ wait until morning,” Krolia assured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to do the whole protective Matt routine, but he's so fucking stressed out that he took it out on Lance. Also I think I did a decent job not making him OVER-protective and avoiding overdone cliches.
> 
> Was the Keith and Krolia scene at the beginning too corny?


End file.
